"I don't want my past to become anyone else's future." Elie Wiesel
My fourteen yr. old came home from school....told me she's learning self-defense. The school's teaching the girls how to fight....what to do if they're ever attacked....how to protect themselves....how to get free.
I listened to my tree-loving kid......my gentle wouldn't hurt a fly child - She went into great detail about some of the techniques she's already learned ....various moves...which body parts to go for......and the instructor's encouragment to not be afraid to bite, kick, scratch and scream. She spoke fast....her voice excited....animated.... but then she hesitated....her face flushed....her eyes held that hint of shyness...
I thought of myself at fourteen....fighting to survive....using my instincts..... fueled by fear and hatred that gave me the strength I needed to fight back...
I never want my dgt. to feel what I felt....I never want her to know fear the way I knew it or the hatred or look in someone's eyes and see the evil that can live in a human being.....
It's freaky Ma, The instructor's gonna jump us.....we have to do whatever we can to get free. Her voice was soft.
You afraid? I asked.
She climbed on my lap....put her head on my shoulder. Maybe.
It's okay to be afraid. I stroked her hair.
I silently prayed....that no one would ever hurt her for real. I'm trusting He'll protect her....keep her safe and because I love her and my other daughter....I've finally chosen to tell what happened to me.....to make a difference....in the hope that my past will never become anyone else's future.