Made a Difference

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." Mark Twain

I woke up this morning really tired feeling irritable and negative. Then I read - www.offthebeatentrek.blogspot.com. RCUBE is an amazing lady who works as a nurse in a prison. Check out her blog. She is such an encourgement.

RCUBE's post today reminded me of when I was incarcerated and then placed on a locked psych ward. Staff have their own issues and sometimes they take it out on patients or prisoners. I hated being under their control and I hated feeling powerless. I wasn't a criminal. I was a drug addict. I never hurt anyone - only myself, but they made me feel like I was bad. Their controls, their authority made me hurt myself even more. It made me feel hopeless. It made me feel like my life was not worth anything. It made me want to give up.

But there were a couple of staff like RCUBE who showed kindness to me. They believed in me -they tried to help me. They made a difference in my life.

Jan, a nurse, knew I hated being locked up. Somehow she worked it out so that I could run errands off the ward or go with her to pick up supplies. She made it clear if I ran she would lose her job and I would end up there for a longer sentence. Her efforts made being locked up a bit bearable.

Lane, a social worker, believed in me. No matter how low I fell, no matter how many times I got in trouble - or hurt myself - she encouraged me to hang in - she showed me I was worth something. She went against what her manager told her and gave me her home phone number. She told me to call at the end of the day and talk to her mother until she got home. Both Lane and her mother empowered me with their support and kindness.

But what really made the difference for me was God. He showed me how much He valued me - His love never wavered no matter what I did or didn't do. He accepted me completely. The gentleness of His love changed me. It made me give up those things I was doing that were destroying myself.

And I think He brought those kind staff into my world to ultimately lead me to know Him. Because of Him - I want to be like RCUBE and Lane and Jan and so many others of you here - I want to show kindness and gentleness to others so they too can find freedom.