Friday, July 17, 2009

My Voice

"Words are the voice of the heart." Confucious

I never talked. I never told. I never said the things that happened. Instead I hid - overwhelmed with shame, wondering if all those awful things even happened at all. I used to talk in the third person - almost as if I was speaking for someone else and not for myself. I lived as if I wasn't a part of myself - Separate. Detached.

This blog has become my voice. It's given me the freedom to write what I can't say - to put a 'voice' to the memories that play in my head like old reruns that have kept me cowering in shame, - terrified to be seen.

When I sit at my computer and type - I feel free. It kind of feels like running in the woods. I can say what I want. I can say the truth. I can be honest. No one's looking at me.

My book is finished. My writer friend edited the whole thing. She said she was entralled. She said I'll touch many lives. She told me she's proud of me for writing it. My other friend, my best friend, gave my name to some local churches to speak at in the fall. The fall is too far away for me to worry about right now, but I hope I can stand up and have people look at me and tell the truth of what happened.

This morning I went for a run. I listened for God's voice. His voice gives me courage. This morning, I heard, 'trust.' One word. One powerful word. I believe He led me to write. He brought some amazing people to help me including some of you on the blog. I'm grateful, really grateful.

I want my voice to be heard. I don't want to be silent anymore. I want to help other people find peace and freedom. Maybe my story will give them that.

12 comments:

Just Be Real said...

Sarah, what a powerful post!!

You are heard!!!

((((Sarah)))))

Terri Tiffany said...

YAY that your book is done!! And do NOT turn down an opportunity to speak--ever! If God gives you the opportunity--go for it!

Epiphany said...

Put me first on the list to buy your book!!

You know I feel the same about blogging, it is amazing how good telling the truth "out there" feels. Weird, because there are people I know in real life that read my blog and it doesn't bother me, but to tell them in person would kill me.

Love you sister!

Finally Free said...

Hi Sarah,

Letting the light shine into the shame helps it lose it's power. So glad you found your voice. :)

I like your songs, too!

Blessings,

Tammy

JakeWobegon said...

Greatings, Sarah,

I am grateful to Epiphany for directing me to your blogs and your story. Wow...it...leaves me speechless. That doesn't happen often. :)

So agappy (happy because of someone else's happiness) for you and your book and speaking engagements. You have a responsibility to the LORD to let Him speak through you and speak loudly.

May the LORD let your voice be heard.

Jake

Maggie said...

Congratulations on finishing your book!! I am really looking forward to reading it - I'm so glad you're putting it out there.

Messenger said...

God bless you. Please read.

Lisa Marie said...

Your blog is your voice, and now your book will be your voice. Congratulations.

My t asked me a few weeks ago why I find it so easy to speak on my blog, leaving my thoughts out for anyone to find, but I couldn't (at the time) write about my abuse. It's hard to put words to how different those two things are. Blogging is such a freeing thing for me. I really feel that by me doing this, I can help someone else. Your blog has helped me. Thank you.

valerie lynn said...

You are being heard loud and clear my sweet friend. God has empowered you to tell your story. God will indeed empower you to continue. I can not say I know what you went through, but I can say I love you and I am so very proud of you.

Grace and Peace

Mary said...

Sarah,

I.m searching Christian blogs and came across yours this morning. You are doing a wonderful job of sharing your thoughts and life. Writing is truly a healing process. Glad to see people commenting too.
God bless you
In His love
Mary

Mary said...

Sarah,

I just commented, but here I am again:0 let me know where and when I can buy your book
Blessings
Mary Haskett

Denise said...

Wow, good for you for writing a book.