"We know what a person thinks not when he tells us what he thinks, but by his actions." Issac Bashevis Singer
Her voice was sweet and she seemed kind. I trusted her. But she helped the rapist hold me in that house. Six months, unable to get out of there. She could have let me go at any time. She had the keys to the gate, to the doors - but she wouldn't. She threw me in that small cold empty room, took away my shoes so I wouldn't run, locked the door and even held me down for him....... how could she have appeared so nice, yet participate in something so awful?
What does the face of an abuser look like? I learned the hard way it's not the creepy looking guy that everyone tries to avoid or the dishelved man slumped in a downtown alley mumbling to himself. A pertetrator of harm could be anybody - male or female, young or old. The scariest thing - you can't tell by simply looking at someone if they're unsafe.
This past June my daughter came home from school and said, 'the teacher wanted us to share something we learned from an adult.' She looked at me and smiled. 'I said my mom taught me - something or someone may look good, sound good and have a group of people supporting them, but listen to your gut. Trust that gut sense. If it says danger, - trust it. Run.'
It's taken me so long to learn that. I'm thrilled at 13 she gets it. I've always lived with this fear of someone hurting my girls. It's made me a bit crazy at times and definitely overprotective. Kids trust too easily. They believe in the good of others. How do you not scare them but keep them safe? When my 13 yr. old was small, I was terrified she would go with anyone. But I wasn't a young child when I was pulled into that house. No age is safe.
I have to trust God. Trust Him to keep them safe. My head tells me not to worry. That God surrounds them with His angels and is protecting them. I have to trust. I have to believe.
The Old Fashion Way, Victorian Times.
6 months ago