Monday, July 13, 2009

Gut Sense

"We know what a person thinks not when he tells us what he thinks, but by his actions." Issac Bashevis Singer

Her voice was sweet and she seemed kind. I trusted her. But she helped the rapist hold me in that house. Six months, unable to get out of there. She could have let me go at any time. She had the keys to the gate, to the doors - but she wouldn't. She threw me in that small cold empty room, took away my shoes so I wouldn't run, locked the door and even held me down for him....... how could she have appeared so nice, yet participate in something so awful?

What does the face of an abuser look like? I learned the hard way it's not the creepy looking guy that everyone tries to avoid or the dishelved man slumped in a downtown alley mumbling to himself. A pertetrator of harm could be anybody - male or female, young or old. The scariest thing - you can't tell by simply looking at someone if they're unsafe.

This past June my daughter came home from school and said, 'the teacher wanted us to share something we learned from an adult.' She looked at me and smiled. 'I said my mom taught me - something or someone may look good, sound good and have a group of people supporting them, but listen to your gut. Trust that gut sense. If it says danger, - trust it. Run.'

It's taken me so long to learn that. I'm thrilled at 13 she gets it. I've always lived with this fear of someone hurting my girls. It's made me a bit crazy at times and definitely overprotective. Kids trust too easily. They believe in the good of others. How do you not scare them but keep them safe? When my 13 yr. old was small, I was terrified she would go with anyone. But I wasn't a young child when I was pulled into that house. No age is safe.

I have to trust God. Trust Him to keep them safe. My head tells me not to worry. That God surrounds them with His angels and is protecting them. I have to trust. I have to believe.


Epiphany said...

Yes, I know full well what you mean.

Your daughter sounds wise. She learnt from a wise woman.

Andrea said...

I am so thankful your daughter gets this valuable truth at such a young age. GOD BLESS her!!

Terri Tiffany said...

Good post and excellent thing to tell a child. It's sad that we can't be too careful as you know.

Enola said...

Way to go Mom! Great job on instilling that in your daughter.

Wanda's Wings said...

It is said to say an abuser can be anyone. You did well with your child, God's gift to us.

Anonymous said...

You are truly teaching your daughter the way a mother teaches. With words of love. Don't doubt your love for your daughter. You are a good mother. You are protecting her the best way you can. As you said, You have to trust God to protect her. Trust Him to protect her and continue healing you.

Much love to you my friend.

sarah said...

thank you so much all of you for your support and encouragement. Sarah

Denise said...

Your daughter is very blessed to have such a wise mom.