Thank-you

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless." Mother Teresa

Whoa! When I woke up and read your comments the day after I posted - I kept thinking - where did these guys come from. Your support - your kindness - your words encouraged me. All day I held your comments - thinking about them. They made me strong. 

Thank-you. You guys are the best. The absolute best!

Darn that rejection. I hate that it made me sink so low but your words gave me the fight I needed to hit back.

This year so many things happened - things that made me believe God wanted me to write. Write about what I could never tell. As I wrote it hit me how bad things had been - how far down God had reached to pull me out -
 
I connected with the rapist's son - I connected with people who knew what happened -

And something else - I went back to that house where the rapist held me. I stood there  - shocked at how close the neighbour's homes were. How come no one heard? How come no one saw? How come no one came to help?

The six foot high fence that had wove around the property was gone. That gate I had somehow managed to climb over - in the middle of winter - in ankle deep snow - with no shoes, no boots, no coat......

  A man came out. The cleaner. I told him I had lived there once. Would he let me inside?  He said yes. He let me me go through every room, open every door - even take pictures.  I asked about a coach house with a room upstairs. He told me its been renovated. He led me to the back of the house. Brought me to that room. That room - where I had been dragged, held, banged on the door until my hands hurt - desperate to be free. 

I felt like a holocust survivor returning to the camps. It had happened. It was real. 

I survived. 

There is a strength in me - a fight - a determination. In the past I used drugs, threw up, cut myself. Today I am finding the courage to tell - to turn the light on for others to survive - for others to be free.