Thursday, February 18, 2010

Daughter

"A mother's treasure is her daughter."  ~Catherine Pulsifer

My oldest is turning fourteen on Saturday. For the past couple of years, people have been telling me....wait till she's a teen....then things will get out of control. She'll be wild, mouthy....disrespectful. I told them they don't know my kid. I know her....She's amazing....a great kid...a kid who always sees the positive...the bright side of things...the good in people.. She's my tree hugger....the one who wants to protect the earth and wildlife.... and help others and give back in ways that make a difference. 

She's my kid who can fix anything....do mathematics in her head....and create beautiful works of art from scraps of nothing.

But....like her mom, she struggles to make decisions, often doesn't know what she likes or wants and saves her money rather than spending it. 

She's never talked back....and when I'm down....she whispers in my ear, Know Hope and rubs my back and tells me things will be ok. Her and I talk about everything and anything. I value her opinion and the amazing thing....she values mine.  

I'm totally proud of her. Inspite of where I've come from...she's turned out to be an awesome kid. 

When I had her.... I was terrified I would hurt her....that I would do to her what was done to me. I wanted to break that cycle of violence. I spent hours in the dark begging Him to help me be a mom....the kind of a mom I never had....a mom who would love her kids....love them in ways they needed. I had no idea how to do to that. I didn't know how to be a mother. I just knew I didn't want to hurt my kids like I had been hurt. I didn't want them to ever feel the fear, shame and pain I had. I didn't want them to grow up and live on the street, lost, alone.....stoned....vulnerable to every perpetrator of harm.    

You know what? He helped me....He helped me love my kids. The gentleness of His love...taught me acceptance and respect. He heard....He made the difference.





29 comments:

Donetta said...

Me too...I so understand what you say here. I am watching my kids amaze me. Those things that I so did not want to be like well the efforts paid off for them. I see the humility in their errors and they really want to do what is right. They really impress me in public. Showing respect and deferring to the weaker among us.
I was so scared to adopt for he fear of repeating the cycle. I told God do not let me be certified if I would hurt them. I have not done everything right but it is going along well and the apology to a kid when you error is an amazing force.
Could you of just imagined if any one would of just owned it and made amends? What a difference that could of made for us.

They call me "Deb" said...

Happy early birthday to your daughter. May she always follow God's heart of compassion and walk the path God ordained for her.
And may He continue to bless you and deepen your beautiful relationship with your daughter as she matures into womanhood.
Hugs,
Deb

Paula said...

Straight from your heart. I wish that you and your daughter continue to have such a content and deep relationship. I wish from the bottom of my heart my mother would have been like you. I am grateful that with you I learn not all mothers are like yours or mine. Love

Mumsy said...

Wish your daughter a wonderful and beautiful birthday.

I'm glad that you have a close relationship with her.

Being Me said...

That is beautiful and you are very fortunate.

BM

Mary said...

Not all daughters pull away. Mine is 18 and still likes me!! :) We have our moments, but all in all we age good.

And sweetie, I am so pleased that you will have that painting to remind you how much you are loved, how much worth you have as a daughter of the King. May you remember how much each time you look upon it.

Hugs,
Mary

Zan said...

She sounds like a wonderful child who's growing up becoming a wonderful teenager / adult but she couldn't become that way without a wonderful mother and if you keep doing what you're doing, I doubt very much you'll have anything to worry about.

Hope you all will have a fabulous day on Saturday and may there be many more of them to come!

xx

Scrapping Servant said...

This is nice to hear. I find myself often terrified of screwing up on my kids. I find if I focus on that "negativity" I do end up screwing up one way or another, but when I keep my eyes on Him He helps me too! :)

Good to see you again... I am visiting my followers today :)

RCUBEs said...

Don't let others' comments get to you. Because like what you said, you know your kid, they don't.

People at my work are that way. Because I work part time, they have to say things like they know me. But they don't know. I'm so blessed with my son. He knows how important it is to be close with the Lord. He respects me and my DH and others. He does well. It is because of Him. He makes everything possible when we truly seek and love Him. I love this post. May the Lord bless your daughter and continue to guide her, protect her and give her discernment. To God be the glory.

SweetPeaRice said...

So beautifully written! I love when the words come from the very depths of our soul don't you? Makes me wonder whether people who have gone through traumatic things in their childhood or adult lives all have this uncanny knack of putting our hearts on paper in a way that leave others speachless....Hugs to you & yours and Happy Birthday to that spectacular daughter of yours!

Wonderingsoul said...

Know what Sarah?
I have read many of your words here... lots of pieces of your story... I have heard your words to me on my own blog. I've felt your comfort and your support.
I just KNOW that you are an incredible mum.
I'm so glad that your lovely daughter is who she is... It is a testament to how amazing you are as a person.
I also think that she will be lovely no matter what her teenage years have in store,
xx

Beth in NC said...

That is so precious. Sounds like your daughter is such a blessing. I know mine is a gift from God.

I was concerned about being a Mommy too. I was afraid I'd be mean like my Mom (though she did the best she could).

Bless you!
Beth

Terri Tiffany said...

you did a good job mom!! Celebrate with her!

Colleen said...

14!! How cool. I had two boys and I remained close to them all through their teens. They kept close to God and to family and still do. My baby turns 24 next week and my oldest turned 28 last week. There is a verse in the 1st Letter of John - "We love because God first loved us." I feel that we can love our children because God taught us how, even when we didn't know God. Hugs!

Finally Free said...

Sarah,
What a beautiful tribute to your daughter and to God. I am still amazed at how God's love can transform our lives if we let Him.
Thanks for sharing this...

Blessings,
Tammy

Journal of Healing said...

Oh, Sarah. I've said this in a comment to you before, and I will say it again...
Your story gives me HOPE. You are raising your girls in a Godly manner, inspite of where you have come from. I am so afraid and have been for years that one day I would abuse my kids. It's why I am terrified to even try yet. Thank you for your hope and your story.

((YOU))

ang

IK said...

Your daughter sounds like a beautiful soul. I'm so happy for you! It sounds like you broke the cycle of abuse. *hugs* <3

Peter Stone said...

What a beautiful post, Sarah, and what a wonderful daughter.
And those people are wrong, there's no reason kids have to become rebellious just because they're a teen. The teenage years are a wonderful opportunity to come ever closer to Jesus, to grow in wisdom and understanding.
And I love the way God listens to prayers of breaking those cycles.

Deborah Ann said...

To be your daughter's mother AND friend is as good as it gets! God surely heard your prayers and gave you the love you needed to be a good mom. Oh, and...I think you're pretty cool too! (smile)

Heckety said...

I think that people are pessimistic about children and I don't know why. I have three (my youngest is 14!) and I've taught school to 18 and just don't see the problem- children generally are what you let them be, no matter what they come from.
It sounds like you are doing a good job and that you have a gift for being a mother, and your daughter sounds just loverly!
Hippy hoppy happy biberbathday to her!!!

Peggy said...

Blessings Sarah...Well done, the Lord's good and faithful servant... you are a top mom! I read your wonderful words about her and your relationship sounds like His gentlesness & His love taught you well.

Wishing your daughter a very happy 14th birthday!!! May you enJOY a SUPER celebration of her life!
Thanks for your visit and I do hope you and your kids come enJOY Finnegan... I want one too!!! Now I see why you said that from what you shared here! (((hugs))) Peggy
...gonna try & send it

Denise said...

Your precious daughter is blessed to have you as her mom.

seema said...

My daughter is 7 and I totally feel, the way you do.... As a mother I try to give the best to my children.... And my girl often tells me with a hug.... "mama you are the best mama, in the whole world", And what I feel then is beyond words...

Loved your Post....

Cheers.
Seema

Ethereal Highway said...

How nice to read a post about a great kid. I have two fourteen year-old daughters and they are very nice girls, too. It's so nice to have that. Makes a mother proud.

ga.farmwoman said...

Happy Birthday to your daughter!(belated)
She and her Mom sound just wonderful.
Thanks for your nice comment and visit to my blog.
Have a great day.
Pam

JOE TODD said...

A very powerful post as is the one about feelings. You are right feelings just are they are neither right or wrong. Took me a long time to understand. I really like the 1st line of the St. Francis prayer in dealing with anger/pain.

Just_because_today said...

this made me smile as I read it. I have enjoyed every single stage of my kids and even as my daughter now 16 has had her "teen moments" I enjoy them too.

Brian Miller said...

really a beautiful post...i have 2 boys myself...they teach me so much.

Gaia said...

Your heart is kind and your kids will know it and they will love you for it. Bless you.