Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Burned Out Houses

"It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything…Only after disaster can we be resurrected." Tyler Durden, Fight Club 1999

I used to be afraid when I'd see a house that had been destroyed by fire.  But as afraid as I was.... I'd stand frozen...staring...the fear playing in my head. I don't  know what that fear was....but something about it held me....made my heart stop.....gave me cold chills....and made me really really afraid......

I think in some way I related the burned out house to my broken life....that burned house....devestated by fire...people....families once living in it....fighting to survive...battling fear.....panic... Did someone die....having hope to get out but then losing their life trying to get free? The house that once been lived in.....with people...families....gone. My life...living on the streets - alone....broken....lost....fighting to hold on to hope....hope to make it out alive. 

Burnt out houses still scare me. They hold a fascination....some meaning....that life even after losing everything....goes on....maybe in different ways....surviving the fire of life....changes you....makes you move in the world different....gives you a heightened sense of danger that you didn't have before....but it also gives you something else....an amazing feeling of gratitude...that you survived....that you made it out alive.....

24 comments:

MTJ said...

Hi Sarah,

I remember a fire starting on the second floor of my Mom's home. I ran upstairs to try to put it out (not considering the danger).

I've never see flames that close and seemingly so powerful. I continued my futile attempt to fight it until the smoke filled my lungs and made me realize, I had lost this battle.

I guess I fought so hard because this was the home I grew up in. A home filled with rooms of memories that were about to be destroyed.

We were fortunate that no one was injured and I learned a valuable lesson about the difference between life and things. I retain all my childhood memories (or at least a healthy portion of them) and my Mom's home was repaired.

But I will never forget the moment of fear I felt when I realized that I could have died in that blaze.

Sometimes, a moment of clarity gives one an opportunity to appreciate the gift of life.

MTJ

RCUBEs said...

I love the quote you used for this wonderful post. It reminds me that when we feel burned out, there is a place to go to to be refreshed and restored: His mercy.

And knowing Him is totally liberating! Great post. Blessings to you sister.

Terri Tiffany said...

I think we appreciate life and everything around us so much more after we've lost so much:)

Paula said...

YEs, when lost all it is freeing. I see often my inner light as an inner flame. Warm, nourishing, cleansing yet it can be burning.

Mary said...

Yes, coming to the end of things...
to the end of ourselves.....
then we are free.....

Lloyd said...

Such an inspiring and uplifting post. Sometimes we feel like we are in a tunnel with the light of a freight train coming at us... But now with God's grace, mercy and love, we now see the light as being our LORD and SAVIOR. Come Lord Jesus!

I am praying daily for you. God bless, Lloyd

Andrea said...

Your strength is amazing! Thank you for always sharing honestly from your heart.
Hugs,
andrea

They call me "Deb" said...

Great writing!
I am reminded that if we allow Him, God can and does give us beauty for our ashes, gladness instead of mourning and praise instead of despair.
What a God.

Kathy M. said...

I love this post. What a great metaphor. I got that feeling on a trip to Nova Scotia and seeing some of the artifacts of the Titanic. A kind of hollow stomach fear that I still struggle to understand. Thanks for sharing.

Karen said...

So thankful you made it out alive, sweetie...so you can really LIVE....

Denise said...

Bless you for this powerful post sis, love you.

Prayer Girl said...

I'm so happy I had the time to stop by and read your blog.

You always share such powerful thoughts and feelings.

Thank you.
PG

Grace said...

Amen! You're truly an inspiration!

Deb said...

A broken life...but not an extinguished life.

You survived.

And I'm so glad that you did.

You're amazing!

Sweet dreams.

Lynda Young said...

A really thoughtful post. It speaks to the fear that lives in every one of us...of being touched by tragedy. But it also speaks to me of hope..the gratitude you have is a wonderful thing.

Syd said...

Sarah, I feel sad when I see burned out houses. I wonder about who lived there and all the things that they valued and the memories being gone. But as you said, life does go on. And perhaps the rebuilt house is better than the old one and new memories will be made there.

Short Poems said...

Thoughtful post, I enjoyed reading it :)
marinela x x

Dulce said...

WOW The same has always happened to me... fire burning or the rests of what a fire has been especially if it's a house or a car...

Unexpected ending here
Thanks for your beauty!

Gaia said...

We all pray for a fighting spirit. Things will always happen in our lives beyond our control. But when we have love and God by our side. We can make it through. Blessings.

Colleen said...

I am also grateful that I made it out alive. And the more I realize that, the more alive I feel. Great post.

Wanda's Wings said...

Great post. God is so good.

INSIDE THE SHRINK said...

That was deep and heartfelt. It's obvious you are in touch with who you are. You have a creative way of expressing those feelings. It gets the point across. Thanks for sharing. Great post. God bless.

Just_because_today said...

"an amazing feeling of gratitude" that is a good pay back for the fear.

Patrina said...

"an amazing feeling of gratitude...that you survived....that you made it out alive..... "

INDEED! God continue to bless you, sarah, that you may continue to be a blessing to all those who still struggle with the darkness. I'm so glad I visited you from one of my neighbors blog. You are a light that I want to support...when you are feeling weak - Know that I am holding up your arms!!! the battle against darkness will never end until Jesus returns to make all thing LIGHT...In the meantime...we have a battle on our hands ....

Thankfully, It is the Lord's battle!! He just needs us to continue to SHINE...So, sarah, I join you in shining the LIGHT of Jesus! I join arms and hearts with yours...may we build a strong tower - a mighty beacon for those walking in darkness...that they too might find FREEDOM in Christ Jesus.

Keep growing closer to Jesus!

Patrina <")>><
His watchman on hte wall.