Saturday, April 17, 2010

Growing Up


We were out walking by the Lake....the three of us.... holding hands. My 14 year old slipped hers out of mine.
Huh? 
It's not cool, Ma. What if we bump into one of my friends? 
Ok. I said squeezing the hand of my nine year old.
And Ma...you can't call me kidlet, zazoo or babe in public anymore.. 
Hmmm. ok babe. 
Mooommmmm!. 
Sorry. It slipped out. Hey Zazs....
Stop it Mom!
I cracked up. I get it. You're cool. I'll be cool too. No holding hands. No babe. No cutsie names....but it's gonna be hard.
My daughter flashed me a smile. A few minutes passed. I felt her arm lock into mine. I guess this is ok. She grinned.
I don't know, I smiled at her. What if one of my friends see?

My daughter's growing up. There's a shift in her....a shift towards independence. She's 14...and wanting to be cool. Cool when I was 14 meant fighting to stay alive - on the streets...shooting dope....cutting myself...throwing up...
My daughter doesn't have an eating disorder, doesn't hurt herself and has no intention of ever trying dope or even smoking. She has a paper route, a savings account and jumps in to help around the house with no one asking her to. And her friends are just like her - kind, fun, sweet. 

I'm learning from her what 'normal' is...normal from the perspective of a kid who has only been shown acceptance and respect.  I know I drive her crazy sometimes....waking her up early to go hiking through the hills, burning more meals than I could count, overprotective to a fault...ok...I can't help that...being too cautious in life....and too intense for my own good....

But I'm so grateful for the bond between the two of us...that closeness that tells me He loved me enough to give me a daughter like her.... a really 'cool' kid....and I've learned something....if you hold on long enough....and don't give up fighting to win...some pretty neat things come your way. My 14 year old is definitely one of them.



29 comments:

Karen said...

Such a sweet post...your children are blessed with a great mom....

Denise said...

Such a nice post dear. You are blessed, and so are your children. I love you.

Kathy M. said...

This post moves me beyond words. Thank you for sharing.

Journal of Healing said...

Awww Sarah. I will say it again...THANK you for showing me that I can be a great mom one day...if I measure up even close to where you have been...i will be so damn happy and pleased.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings, ang

MTJ said...

Hi Sarah,

It's good that you share in that kind of joy; the pure joy of parenting. It was something which I often reflected on when ours were young, and yes, they teach us so many lessons.

Bless you all.

MTJ

Tammy said...

A beautiful post!.
Doesn't it feel wonderful to look at your daughter and see the love of God.

Shanel said...

I felt that post.. it's beautiful.... isn't God great.... in giving birth it's almost like he restored your joy....

Paula said...

Your kids are so great because you guided and educated them this way. In doing so you restored yourself partly, you heal in and with your kids too. Love to you, Paula

Terri Tiffany said...

It is interesting to me that you see that you are learning what normal looks like through the lives of your children. Isn't wonderful how God gave you that gift?

Mary said...

I love hearing about your relationship with your precious daughters. About the love you give and receive. How God is healing your heart in that beautiful relationship!! I am thankful you have them - they have you!!

Surprised By Joy! said...

Sarah,
This is a beautiful touching post. It touched my heart. You are so blessed and so is your daughter to be able to have her own voice at 14. It took me alot longer to find mine...but atleast I found it.

Blessings,
Tammy

Dulce said...

Oh dear,
This is so sweet a post.
Why do you always move me when I read you... your heart is just unique... and am so glad you are so very happy with your children.

am also so over protective. Just can't help it

Hugs!
;)

Just Be Real/God Whispers In The Wind said...

Sarah, a delightful post to read. The blessings of your daughters are wonderful. Thank you for sharing them with us. Blessings.

Wonderingsoul said...

Your daughter sounds lovely Sarah!
And I love tht whole... wanting to be cool but not quite wanting to be totally away from you...
She sounds wonderful. Which is just what I'd expect really, having read so much of you...

x

Lynda Young said...

I remember saying the same things to my mum when I was growing up. There is something special in the bond between a mother and daughter.

Kelly L said...

Beautiful post. My oldest will be 14 in June and I know exactly what you mean about the "cool" stuff. I am thankful "my cool" from 30 years ago is not "her cool" and I am so thankful to God for that.

Love to you
Kelly
http://www.amazingsalvation.com

Prayer Girl said...

What a beautiful post. God is good - allowing you to live and learn what a more normal life is like through the relationship with your daughter. Wonderful story. Thank you for sharing it.

PG

Deb said...

I feel the "normal" here.

And it feels good.

Got a question: Were you relaxing on that walk?

Cause your tone is relaxed. Comfortable. And comforting.

Cool!

Sweet dreams.

AnooCre8ion said...

That's so beautiful!! Blessings to both of you.

Vickie

speck of dust said...

This is such a lovely post, your conversation with your daughter so funny. There is a lack of humour with my friends and my kids because they're all toddlers and babies and the parents are exhausted and stressed. And me too. I can be funny sometimes, but he triggers me like mad with his demands, anger and screaming and hitting me! Not very often, thank goodness but stays with me for a while! Good to remember he this is a 'stage'.

speck of dust said...

I meant my friends and their kids :)

seema said...

It's so sweet.... I want to have that kind of bonding with my own daughter, she is 7, and I hope by the time she is 14, she turn out like that....
You are a wonderful mom....
God bless!!!

Cheers
Seema

Syd said...

She sounds like a wonderful child and cool in the important ways. Good for her.

Deborah Ann said...

You are so blessed to be close to your daughters like that. Makes me miss the days when my grown-up girl was a kid. Man, the time sure does fly by!

Lily said...

This made me cry. The love for your daughter is so apparent. She is so lucky to have you, and you her. :')

Paula said...

Thinking of you. Love to you

Just_because_today said...

this post is so beautiful, Sarah. Plain beautiful.

Colleen said...

What a gift our children are to us. Hugs.

Amy said...

I'm so glad your daughter is a true blessing to you. Kudos to you on being a great Mom!