Friday, August 6, 2010

Giving Permission



"...Give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be." Joy Page
   
Permission: the authorization granted to do something 
Permission - formal consent - giving sanction. 
Sanction - official permission or approval for a course of action.  

When my therapist suggested I give myself permission to be free...I thought she was nuts. I wanted to be free. I had focused all my energy on trying to be free. I didn't get why she told me that....or even what she meant by it. It couldn't be that simple to find release in simply saying those words....or could it? 

I did end up saying the words.....I gave myself permission to be free...to have a good life....a life I dreamed about....a life I yearned for.....a life like most people lived. 

At first my words were just that....words.  But then I noticed a change inside....a shift....a different feel that hadn't been there before. I started believing in the power of those words...accepting their truth....and soon coming to realize that just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz - I had always had the power to get what I wanted....a power I had never realized before - the power to give myself what no one else could - the permission....the sanction.....to walk free. 

I had tried for so long to twist myself into everyone else's version of what I should be.....all those professionals with their rules and programs and plans....promising me freedom if I would just do what they wanted. The problem - I couldn't fit into their way of being in 'my' world. I couldn't adjust myself enough to become what anyone else believed was right for me. It only kept me stuck....and frustrated.....and angry.
   
More than anything....I needed His touch to break through the darknesss....to cut through my hatred. He showed me something I never had before.....a love so great it gave me the courage to keep fighting. The next best thing....was learning to take back my power and give myself the permission to come home to me.

21 comments:

MTJ said...

Hi Sarah,

The is nothing greater than experiencing the liberating power and freedom of Christ. I agree that one must consciously acknowledge that freedom and walk in it to know I am truely free.

Fear is what holds me back in the chains of my insecurities, inadequacies and inconsistencies.

Thank God for the grace to live freely.

Bless you.

MTJ

Prayer Girl said...

Love this post. All I can say is, "Amen" to giving ourselves permission.
I have given myself permission to be me. :)

PG

Paula said...

I think this is a step I should take too - sounds like a Quantum leap to me.

Valerie Lynn said...

Those of us who have been chained down for so long do not know what true freedom is until we receive the love and power of Jesus Christ. I thank God that you are free my friend. I thank God for you. Blessings 2 u!

dulce said...

Coming back home tooneself... WOW... those are the most lines I've read in months...
I love this post Sarah dearest and
I love the path you are going through.
;)
D

A girl needs 2 Talk said...

Sarah, my dear, you give me Power to believe in me when I read your posts. I LOVE the honesty, I love your faith in God and His ways, I love the miracle YOU have made your life.

Bless you, dear girl.

Stay as amazing and have a FANTASTIC weekend!

NOS said...

It's so interesting-- we were talking about giving ourselves permission to be free from our eating disorders last week in my eating disorder group. I think what you're saying is true. At first they are just words, then there's a shift. I'm so glad you have experienced that shift. You deserve freedom.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Grace said...

**clicking heels together*** I wanna go home...wherever that might be...

Denise said...

Such a beautiful post sis, love you.

Joan said...

Lovely post, Sarah. The freedom Christ gives can't compare.

Blessings,
Joan

Colleen said...

I always have to give myself permission, too. great post. Hugs.

Just Be Real said...

I really like this post Sarah!!! Blessings to you dear one!

Mary said...

The Truth set you free!! :)

Blessings and hugs!!!

shannon i olson said...

I heard Dr. Laura once say to a woman "you have to mourn the loss of your mother" her mother wasn't dead. I took that to heart that day. My mom was never and was never going to be the mother I needed, or wanted. I had to give myself permission to mourn the loss of that and begin to get well. She would always disappoint me, she was incapable of caring for me and my well being, I had to give her permission to be sick. Later I came to understand only God would not disappoint me, even though he doesn't always give me my way! He had a purpose in giving me a broken mommy,I don't fully understand, but I trust him and he is the one that freed me from that terrible anger. Praise him.

Being Me said...

That's exactly what I need, a stronger power to learn to be free.

This is a most timely encouragement, good advise in the comments too.

God always seems to know what we need and he leads us there.

Terri Tiffany said...

I love your last line--the permission to come home to me.
we don't always do that,do we? Not in our lives with others or even in the way we write. Thank you again for sharing your journey.

Deborah Ann said...

"Permission to come home to me." That's powerful! I have a feeling a lot of people (myself included) have been so busy hiding from themselves, that there was never any hope of coming home to themselves. Good stuff, Sarah!

Donetta said...

Welcome home
:)

Deb said...

Powerful post.

Sweet dreams.

Charlotte/For Such A Time As This said...

I lived a lifetime struggling with fear, until the day I realized that freedom from it wasn't a destination I could get to, but a journey I could walk daily, starting at the cross with Jesus. This world offers so many 12 step programs to deal with all our troubles, but I have found the only step that really changes anything is the one step we take toward Him...the step of faith.

You are a wonderful writer because you write from your heart and experiences. It is hard to think the bad things that happen to us could be viewed as anything but horrible, yet they become the very things that fuel the fire in our pens. Because it is through them that the testimony of God's love for us is revealed. The very fact that we are still here to write about them testifies that He has set us free! When Christ sets us free, we are free indeed.

What the enemy meant to destroy you can be used by God to destroy his power over others, and help set them free. It is good to say it outloud..."CHRIST HAS SET ME FREE - I AM FREE!"

I have no doubt He has planned a wonderful future for you, filled with good!

Syd said...

I am glad that you came back to who you are. That is so good. Some people never get that chance because they are blind to who they really are.