Monday, February 8, 2010

Myths


"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest -- but the myth -- persistent, persuasive and unrealistic" John F. Kennedy

I carted the 10 pound bag of potatoes home...proud I had gotten them on sale for just $2.50. Just two potatoes would have cost close to a buck. But by the end of two weeks we had used only four of the potatoes and had to throw the rest of the bag out. 

I was buying things in bulk because someone told me it's a great way to save money. My therapist asked why I was buying so much when we only used a fraction of what I bought. Her words stunned me. I never thought about it. All I thought about was the saving factor.

She showed me the value in buying only 4 potatoes even if they cost $2.00. It was better than paying $2.50 for a huge bag of an item that ended up in the garbage. 

Myths....I didn't know I was defeating the purpose I was trying to achieve. And there's been other things....like going away.... holidays. People said I needed to go away for a full week...even two, but I get nervous being away from home too long. I would end up going away for a week or ten days but spend most of the time worrying and wanting to go home after four.  My therapist said.....just go for four days. I was shocked at her words and wondered,  can I do that? Nobody does that. 

I wanted so much to fit in, to be like everybody else so I tried to do what I thought was right. Growing up....it wasn't ok to have my own needs or think my own thoughts or feel my own feelings. I couldn't cope....so I disappeared. I went away in my head and used dope and threw up and cut myself to be invisible. Learning that it was ok to have my own needs and thoughts and feelings has been really difficult. It's taken me a long time but I've learned.... something may be right for one person...and not necessarily right for someone else. And also, everyone needs to honor their own truth. There is no right or wrong. 

25 comments:

Sheila Deeth said...

How very true. We're all different, and advice doesn't help if it doesn't recognise the other person's need.

I played the same game with buying in bulk for a while.

Andrea said...

AMEN!! I definitely do NOT fit the mold and thank GOD I am growing okay with that.
Blessings, andrea

rcubes said...

Yes, we must realize that we all have differences. But it's not a reason to not be united. God loves us and accepts us all the same despite the differences. Great truth! Blessings.

Pete Hoge said...

I have found that there is
certainly, "right or wrong"
when it comes to God., and
choosing His way over our
own selfish desires.

The same thing happens to
me with apples; I want to
get the big ol bag but I
know I eat only 3 a week.

haha.

Pete.

Denise said...

Amen sweet sis, amen.

Colleen said...

Amen is right. I agree with Andrea. I do not fit the mold either. I have had to learn that it is ok to be me. Hugs and blessings!

Madison said...

Sarah, I throw away bulk items too. And going away to relax is not relaxing to me. Everybody's different. Thank God for that.

Susan Deborah said...

". . . everyone needs to honor their own truth" -- Powerful line dear Sarah.

Hope you are well within and outside. Thoughts of positivity always for you from me.

Joy, passion and courage,
Susan

Mumsy said...

For a while, I did get involve in buying bulk but realize really quick that I threw away more foods than eating them..

"everyone needs to honor their own truth", this is best statement of all, Sarah!

Deborah Ann said...

Your potato analogy is really profound! We each need to understand what is best for us, what is God's design for each of us to follow.

When I hear of someone's love for, say, dim sum or oysters, I need to try it. I usually find that I don't like it, and then I think something's wrong with me because I don't like something that everyone else does. But that's a God thing, isn't it? We are each uniquely made, and when we finally come to terms with that, God can do something beautiful in our lives...

Journal of Healing said...

Absolutely there is no right or wrong way to do your Journey! I totally agree with you. One of the great bits of truth my therapist says quite often is, "No one gets a vote in your journey but you." How true! If you need to buy only 4 potatoes, buy four, no matter what people who buy in bulk may say. If you need to wear black on tuesdays as a statement, do it. If you need to take a sick day to sleep...lack of sleep will truly make you sick! And there are times I have needed that so that I could function, after a night of flashbacks, etc. No one gets to define sick for me, or bulk for you, or abuse and what is/isn't. I firmly standing behind you in your corner, dear cyber friend...routing for you to continue how to figure out what your right and wrong is for your journey! WOOHOO! So glad you are asking these questions.
cyber hugs if you want them...ang

Paula said...

It is enough to be YOU. Brilliant post. love you

Shattered said...

I like this post. Very wise advice...

Terri Tiffany said...

Good post! I've struggled so much in my life to be like everyone else around me and when I can't I feel like I have failed. Like I need to do better.
Not a fun way to live and trying hard now even at this new job to be the person GOd made me!

Prayer Girl said...

The truth has set you free. The truth sets me free. I am so grateful to God for placing so many people in my life to help me learn the truth.

God bless.
PG

Peggy said...

Blessings Sarah...Just discovered this blog and enjoy your writings. So practical and true. No myth here just the ones you discovered were not so true. Yes, the truth doers make us free. So glad that you are free, especially from the ways of the past, and how you had to grow up. What a blessing to see what you've been learning along your journey and now sharing with us.

Love the JFK quote! Love your examples...I think I've done that too! Isn't it freeing to know we can do what's right for us and honor our own truth. Great insight!

Thanks for your sweet visit!

Marj aka Thriver said...

Yes, I like the idea of honoring my own truth. Great message. Thanks!

Just_because_today said...

be present, be real in your own truth. that is what matters, what counts

Lily said...

When it comes to your healing, there is no right or wrong. What powerful words.

Being Me said...

Everyone has different limits ...be aware of you .. tailor your wants to your needs...No need to follow others. Just be you.

BM

Mary said...

We have the same destination, but our journeys there are not the same.

Sarah, only buy in bulk what you know you will always need, and doesn't go bad - like toilet paper!!!! :) :) :)

Paula said...

Passing by to show some love. Tell you how grateful I am for you. Safe warm hug.

Margie said...

Honoring ourselves is the key!
I'm with you Sarah!

Thank you for all you share!
I wish you joy, always!

Margie:)

VICKI IN AZ said...

Sarah,
Just such a great thing to remember. We do get to choose for ourselves. Love this.

I was just reading chapter 14. I am overwhelmed by your strength. You say you wished you could have the memories erased so you didn't have to remember them anymore. My heart goes out to you. Really! I sat in my therapists office this week with a small box of items from my childhood which I have held onto for all of these years just waiting for them to trigger just the right memory so that I can have "Proof". The memories are just gone, erased from my grasp, there are just enough there to let me know that I was alive and didn't just show up as an adult in the world.
Dr. H. said you know what happened to you. You know what happened the same way you know Jesus, not because someone who actually saw him bore witness to you. But because the Holy Ghost has borne witness to you that what happened is real the same way He bore witness to you that Jesus Christ is your Savior and that He is real.

I am continually amazed although I shouldn't be at the lack of creativity abusers have. My mother used the same words to degrade me that your parents used. I am sorry for your pain. I also rejoice with you in our Savior and his sacrifice so that we may be healed.
Always.

Patricia Singleton said...

The myth that kept me trapped in pain for so long was the hope that one day my family would be normal and healthy and love me that way that I wanted them to. That has never happened and probably won't. When I finally let go of the myth, then I was able to start moving forward.