Sunday, January 30, 2011

Differences


"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." Judy Garland

Last night at supper....I watched my youngest dive into her food. She giggled and commented over and over how yummy it tasted. She's my kid who loves meat...is always open to trying new things....and loves to experiment with different flavors. 

My oldest sat down and 'inspected' her meal.  For her...eating is a chore.... something to finish and get through. She picked out what she didn't like and pushed it to the side. Grabbing the ketchup bottle....she squirted.... coloring everything red. 

Differences - it's fun to watch my kids. My oldest is neat...organized...and amazingly patient. Her brain is wired to ace math and figure out how to put absolutely anything together.  Sensitive and caring...she cries at the sight of a dead bird....or even at the mention of someone hurt.  She cares deeply for the environment...often driving me nuts with her constant reminders to 'recycle.' 

My youngest comes home from school....slips out of her coat...kicks off her shoes....and wherever they land....is where they stay. I find piles of clothes in front of her 'open' closet doors as if she had somehow been prevented by an unknown source from placing them inside. She typically loses cherished items soon after she recieves them.  She is passionate...dramatic....has a wicked sense of humor and tends to face life head on. 

Differences - My kids add spice to our family by being who they are. My youngest brings excitment...my oldest stablity and calm. 

Growing up....It wasn't okay to me. Constantly ridiculed...  criticized...and compared to other kids...I learned being me had no purpose...no value.  Over and over I heard I was all wrong...my thinking...my ways of doing things....even the things I liked or wanted. It's taken me a long time to figure it out...those messages were lies that kept me living as if I had no right to be...

I'm glad my girls are different. I'm thankful for who they are and how they move in the world.

Differences.....they're what make us special.   I never want my girls to compare themselves to each other or to anyone else. I never want them to feel they're not good enough.

We're still hanging out in San Fransisco. Everyone we've met has been incredibly kind to us. It's been alot of fun....but now...I want to go home.  I"m grateful....for everything I've been given...my family...more than enough creature comforts....and mostly my freedom. Freedom means everything to me....




21 comments:

Just Be Real said...

Sarah I am so glad you are blessed by your children. That they add spice. I am more like your youngest. Difference was I was yelled at for being "me" as well. Could not be a kid who just flipped off her shoes. You are one mother who is letting their children be who they are!

Glad you are having a good time in SF. Enjoy dear one. Blessings.

Wanda's Wings said...

Our children are truly a gift from God to be enjoyed and loved. Their differences make it more fun. You just love those babies as I can tell by your witting you do. Bless your family a true gift from God!

Paula said...

Never forget, the way your kids turn out is because of the role model and parents they have. Have a wonderful time in San Francisco. Love form my heart to yours.

Denise said...

You, and your children are precious treasures.

Finding Pam said...

It is so amazing when one raises fantastic kids despite how one was raised. You have done a great job.

Often the best example of what not to do comes from our own parents. What a great thing you have done to love your kids for who they are.

Chatty Crone said...

I am probably more like your oldest and the rest of my family I live with are more like your youngest. Isn't life so funny - you never know what you'll get.

Have fun and be careful on your way home.

Love,sandie

My Big Secret Blog :) said...

I loved reading you, today. It felt like I were listening to you talking. It felt like my Mum were listing the differences between my sister and me. :)

Susan said...

It's so good we are all different, Sarah. Makes for a much more interesting family....world.....life! Susan

Terri Tiffany said...

So glad you embrace those differnces like you do:) Enjoy the remainder of your trip!!

NOS said...

It's clear that you are a good mother. You are able to foster individuality among your children-- that takes a lot! In many instances parents want their children to fill a certain mold, but that's not you. Your daughters are lucky.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Janice said...

Just wanted to say hi

Finally Free said...

Sarah,
So true.... I used to live as a chameleon. I changed into who people thought I should be. Your daughters are fortunate to have a great Mom like you or celebrates them. :)

Blessings,
Tammy

Deborah Ann said...

Isn't it amazing how two people that are raised in the same household turn out so different? Your girls sound like quite the blessings, and a lot of fun.

Hope you're enjoying yourself in San Fran. I hope to go back there one day...

Love you!

Dulce said...

What abeautiful post Sara dear and a lesson to be re learnt- so often I still find myself comparing myself with others, being me usually worse or less than...
It's our difference that makes us unique!
As you my dear!

CRY said...

how fun that was to read.
my Hailey is a little bitof both.
As hard as your childhood was, that is what makes you the special person you are and that is what makes YOU the GREATEST MOM your kids could ever have.I try to tell myself that my abuse in some was was a blessing in disguise to make me who I am today and to break that chain of abuse.

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Sarah -

I'm glad you can give your girls what you didn't have - security and freedom to be themselves.

Love that song on your blog.

Blessings,
Susan :)

Kristen Torres-Toro said...

Have fun in San Francisco!

Mya said...

Glad you are enjoying your stay in California, and yes, it is nice to return home also.
Your kids are lucky to have a mom that understands and loves them where they are, unconditionally. Can't get much better than that.

Paula & Skip said...

Passing by to show some love. Enjoy CA.

Sharon Kirby said...

It is fun to look at your children. My two sons are a constant wonder - the ways in which they're different (VERY) and the ways in which they're the same (SURPRISING!) BTW - they sound very much like your oldest/youngest!

I love that in the family of God, we're ALSO all so different! He has made a wonderful blend of unique individuals -

And you, Sarah, are a beautifully adored daughter of His. One that He sees as righteous through the blood of His Son. The past is gone - you are now loved UNCONDITIONALLY!

And yes, that is freedom...

GOD BLESS!

(p.s. The picture was SO funny!)

Gayle said...

My daughters are as different as night and day. There were times when one would feel frustrated that the other would receive more attention.

During those moments we explained to the kids that they are different and treasured. We tried to get them to see that at times one would have more attention or whatever but that it would balance out.

Today, one is in college and the other in grad school. They are so different from each other or myself. I was never loved or valued but they've never had a moment when they weren't. They seem to know that.

If you daughters ever have a question all they have to do is read your beautiful blog. This says it all.