Thursday, January 20, 2011

Living Free

"My hope is to laugh as much as I cry...and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. Maya Angelou

I've lost a lot of time.....running scared....fighting to survive....not sure if my life was worth much of anything. Since publishing and telling my story...
things have changed. I'm freer.....not weighed down with so much shame. It feels as if I've slipped off an oversized jacket that was too bulky and cumbersome....or put down a gigantic sack I carried everywhere I went...an immense weight that kept getting in the way.....

There's a ton of things I want to do....things I want to try.  Mostly...I want to keep my heart open to living free. 

Things feel new. It's like I'm experimenting with the world....and life....with living and being. I can look people in their eyes.....and let them look in mine....something I couldn't do before. I feel more comfortable in my skin...not detached as if I don't belong in it. 

Most mornings I wake up ready to face the world. I'm still amazed at how far down He went to pull me out of the darkness...that place where I had no hope....no faith that anything could ever change. But it did...Somehow the power of His gentleness made the difference.

I still need to withdraw....to be alone...to tune into my heart.....and listen for His gentle whisper that always gives me the assurance I'm not alone anymore....and everything's going to be okay. 

And I want to make a difference for others who are where I was...to shine hope....to let them know....nothing is impossible to overcome.Aboslutely nothing.

We're leaving in a couple of days for San Fransisco. I used to be afraid to leave home....but I've made a deal with myself....to trust...kick back....and have a ton of fun....

19 comments:

Terri Tiffany said...

Enjoy your trip!! You will have a blast there--let go and live life:)

My Big Secret Blog :) said...

A good, happy trip you deserve!! Enjoy yourself, Sarah! :) Be safe!

nannykim said...

So Glad that God is bringing you deliverance and a ministry and some time off!

Wanda's Wings said...

Your journey continues to inspire me. I love God, but I just don't see how you do it. Enjoy yourself. Bless you.

Sharon Kirby said...

Sarah - I have to chuckle. Not more than an hour ago, my husband and I were talking about taking a trip to San Francisco!! Enjoy it - smell the ocean, look at the sky, eat the food -

And if you happen to glance at the prison across the bay at Alcatraz - thank the Lord for the miraculous rescue He's brought to us believers! He unshackled the prisoners, and set the captives FREE!

You are a beacon of hope, shining for others - a steady light that reflects the Light of the world.

GOD BLESS!

NOS said...

You are truly a remarkable person, Sarah. You are very fortunate to have so much positivity in your life, and to have done the personal work that it takes to enjoy your good fortune!

Have a great time in San Fransisco! I've always wanted to go.

Wishing you well,
NOS

CRY said...

oh how i LOVE sAN fRAN!
i HOPE YOU HAVE A BLAST
iT TOOK ME YEARS TO BE ABLE TO LOOK ANYONE IN THE EYES AND AT TIMES IT STILL IS
I LOVE SUNGLASSES IN THE SUMMER
ITS SAID THAT THE EYES ARE THE DOORS TO THE SOUL BUT AT TIMES I WANT TO PROTECT MY SOUL

Lady Rose said...

Sarah,

The one thing I love about your blog is how you share your heart with others. It's truly a blessing for me, and I learn so much.

At any rate, I hope that you have fun in San Francisco. You deserve to have some fun in your life.

Blessings,

-Lady Rose


P.S. Can you send me your email through my blog? I have comment moderation, so I won't post your email address to the public.

Chatty Crone said...

I love the quote.

And I am glad you have your new jacket on in the right size now.

Have a nice warm trip to San Francisco.

And most of all - have fun!

Sandie

Mya said...

Grand - I hope your time there will be fun and that you have time to explore the city.

Mary said...

oh i pray you have a wonderful, freeing, refreshing time...and loads and loads of fun!!

Deborah Ann said...

Just got back from Texas. I hope you have a blast in San Francisco - it's one of my favorite cities. You simply must try the clam chowder bread bowl - it's to die for! Happy trails my dear friend...

Dulce said...

My dear Sarah!
Thank you
Thank you for always being here as if another of my angels...

D.

Dulce said...

My son loves this song... I tell you cause he always goes' Mum please turn that down...'- but with this one...he loves it- I don't know!!!

Hugs

Puzzled Hat said...

I'm so glad to have 'met' you. :) You attitude to overcoming what you've been through is refreshing and inspiring. I hope you have a good trip!!

Julie Musil said...

Plenty of people are glad you told your story, and have been helped by it.

Enjoy your time in SF, you deserve it.

Crown of Beauty said...

Dear Nikki...

I know you will love San Francisco. I suppose you've been there before. It is one of my favorite US cities... I was there in 2003.

Well, this post is another good one. God surely has taken you long way from where you were. Broken but because God wanted to heal you. Did you know that when a broken bone heals, it is stronger than before? Amazing, isn't it? But that is what I see happening to you.

I am currently attending Elijah House Basic School 2 here in Manila. Lessons are so awesome, I could not take you off my mind. I continue to pray for you, Nikki.

Love
Lidj

Joan Davis said...

Because of God's incredible love, He goes to unimaginable depths to save us. I am praising Him for the freedom we have in Him. Thanks for sharing your story. Your courage is encouraging. Enjoy your visit to San Francisco!

Living for Him, Joan

Dean Corso said...

Hope you had a good trip