Tuesday, April 26, 2011


"Such a feeling's coming over me.....there's a wonder in everything I see. Not a cloud in the sky....Got the sun in my eyes....and I won't be surprised if it's a dream." Karen Carpenter

At the lowest darkest point in my life...someone flipped on the radio. The song, On Top of the World was playing. I never heard it before...never even knew of Karen Carpenter. But her voice...her words sparked something in me. Those words slipped inside my heart...gave me hope....hope that things would and could change. Hope to hold on....to keep fighting....and to not give in to the darkness. 

Karen's song gave me hope....yet she, herself,  fell victim to the dance of addiction....She died from complications of an eating disorder. I wish she hadn't.....I wish she could have grasped onto the same hope that she had given me.

Hope.....what makes one person hold on and another give up? I'm not sure but one thing I want to do more than anything.....is to give back...and shine hope. I remember being squeezed by hopelessness....choked by the believe that I had no right to exist.....feeling completely alone....wanting to give up....unable to see a viable way of climbing out of the pain. My life has changed....gotten better....in ways I could never have imagined.

Now I want my words...my life....what I've overcome to instill hope and courage to someone else fighting alone....wondering if things will ever change. Something I learned....courage doesn't always look brave and strong.....Sometimes it looks scared....wobbly....and I learned also the darkness eventually  loses steam....it dies out.....It doesn't last forever. 

Sometimes I wonder now....if what I lived and overcame wasn't just about me; that maybe it's about showing hope to someone else lost in the darkness, helping them know they too can win their fight. If I could beat the odds, anybody can.


Karen said...

Very profound...especially this:

"courage doesn't always look brave and strong.....Sometimes it looks scared....wobbly....and I learned also the darkness eventually loses steam....it dies out.....It doesn't last forever. "

You may never know all the lives that have been encouraged and changed by your story...keep on sharing and being a blessing....

Paula & Skip said...

Dear One, Karen has touched the hope deep inside you. Yet she didnt touch her own hope. It is tragic. Yet you live to share her story too. Love you

~dawn said...

I love this post!

"Hope.....what makes one person hold on and another give up?"

A profound question! I stopped and gave this one thought. I truly believe that we don't give up, that, as in Karen's case, we're sick, we are experiencing the sickness of addiction, a disease, and while some are blessed to have hope bridge their gap from addiciton to recovery, some simply do not get well enough to cross that bridge. I see it as nothing different than the cancer patient who responds to chemo, while the next one rejects it.
Is what it is.
May be a pragmatic approach, but I have to accept this definition so I don't give up my own plight to help someone. I wholeheartedly believe that I am afflicted with alcoholism so that I can potentially save one life - what an awesome responsibility and blessing to be a part of. I see the same with you - you are here for the same purpose - we cannot have walked through the darkness, to have entered the light and have nothing to share,, right? RIGHT!!

Funny thing about Karen Carpenter; whenever I hear (which is not often of course) a Carpenter tune, I am instantly reminded of her untimely death- I remember her for her sickness, not her music - what a very sad legacy...........

Wanda's Wings said...

I am glad you have become a beautiful light of hope to others.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sarah,
I'm hanging in there, ...thanks for all your encouragement. Hugs to you, Sarah. :)


Sharon Kirby said...

Strong post!

I was reminded of this quote from the movie, The Shawshank Redemption: "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

Yes, I truly believe, that your story is a beacon of hope to many, many people. God is using your story for His glory -

Fear can keep you a prisoner - hope sets you free.

Hope you had a wonderful Easter.


Gabriella Moonlight said...

I believe that we are all here as mirrors to each other and how we can help and give hope to one another, it is what helps us to stay and to have hope and love...thank you for always sharing yours with us!

Anonymous said...

I think you are giving some of that hope back. With each blog post you write you share with us an obstacle you have met and have or are working to overcome. I hope you know how meaningful for someone like me who at times wishes she were Karen Carpenter. Thank you.

Wishing you well,

Chatty Crone said...

I feel bad for Karen as she had it all - such a lovely voice - yet she missed it by thinking she was a little heavy. It is a sickness - a lot of has have one or another I'm not sure what makes one recover and one not recover.

Hope is a part of it.

Man thinking that God allowed you to go through all that is rough for me. Yet in a way I know it's true. You are the light and hope for others.

This I know, but I don't know why:
Bad things happen to really great and good people.

Look at Jesus.


Julie Musil said...

Karen Carpenter is still one of my favorites. Her music inspires me. You should know that your words DO inspire hope. You're a great example of perseverance and strength.

Crown of Beauty said...

Karen Carpenter was one of my favorite singers. Her songs, written by her brother, were beautiful and deep. It is sad that she did not grasp the same hope that her songs gave to others like you.

I am thankful that your desire is to give back ... that others may experience the same hope, healing and freedom that you are now walking in, despite your dark and painful past.

God has given you back the years that the locust has eaten.

Like you, I want my life story to be an inspiration to someone else. Each one of us suffer have had wounds that God has already healed that others may know the hope to which we have been called!


Terri Tiffany said...

You beat the odds because of GOd and He is giving you such an awesome ministry:)) Go and tell!

Paula & Skip said...

Passing by to show some love.

elizabeth said...

Beautiful. You do share the hope.

Caroline said...

Quote "Sometimes I wonder now....if what I lived and overcame wasn't just about me; that maybe it's about showing hope to someone else lost in the darkness, helping them know they too can win their fight."

I end up thinking those thoughts too when I still feel ready to give up; I believe it's God's reminder, "You're there for a reason...and it's not about giving up!" Thanks for the wonderful post!

Lori Laws said...

Hi Sarah, wonderful post as usual. Yes, let your light shine, hope is contagious, especially words of hope coming from someone who has the first-hand experience of being pulled out of a pit by Jesus!

I moved my blog over to Wordpress- www.lorilawspersevere.com

Hope you had a great Easter. God bless!

Deb said...

Courage? Wobbly.

Yes, that's me.

But your courage?

Now, that's strong. And for real.

Sweet dreams.

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