Friday, May 6, 2011

Do Better

When we  know better we do better. Maya Angelou

I have dreams...goals... desires. I want to make a difference.....shine a light....show hope...

For a long time I couldn't.....I hid what happened....I didn't want anyone to know....I ran scared....living in shame....afraid for anyone to look in my eyes....I knew if they did....they'd know the truth. And they'd believe what I knew...that what happened was my fault....that there was something inherently wrong with me for it to even have happened at all. 

I believed those lies for a long time....letting them keep me living less than my best.  At my lowest....when I couldn't hold on anymore.....He touched me....broke through the shame....and amazingly.....began to turn everything around. It didn't come easy. I struggled against the 'truth.' I couldn't accept that it wasn't my fault.  

I don't know why I believed that....but the lie was the cement that kept me down....that kept me running scared...that pushed me close to the line of death not once....but many times. Lies. I trusted in them and they almost killed me.

The squeeze of darkness soured my life....and created a bottomless void of always wanting and never being able to fill its gnawing hunger that constantly growled its emptiness.  I thought it would win....I thought there was no way I could ever get free. The hold it had kept me down....kept me defeated....

But His love made the difference....it cut through the darkness....It won the battle. The things that happened are become dimmer...And His truth is shining brighter. Love made a difference....His love.....and it still does. Love that trumps everything else.....

20 comments:

Karen said...

Amen! That cement of lies can be broken through by the love of God...

His love makes a difference every single day...glory!

NOS said...

It's really hard to stop believing that we were in control of everything when in reality we weren't. It's scary to admit that we were not always in charge. But I think you're right-- we have to stop believing this lie and come to realize that we were (relatively) powerless to our conditions. And love DOES make the difference.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Wanda's Wings said...

Lies are sometimes hard to get out of our mind. Thank you that Jesus can heal.

Surprised By Joy! said...

Keep Shining the light, my friend. Grateful for you, sweetie. :)

Blessings,
Tammy

JBR said...

Thank you Sarah for the inspiring post. Many blessings and hugs.

Deborah Ann said...

Recognizing the lies is a defining moment. It's shocking how many people believe the lies for so long, for some, their whole lives. Everytime those chains drop, all of heaven rejoices!

Hey, I gave a speech again, well, just the humorist one. But it went great! How are your speeches going?

Thanks for voting for me...you're the best!

Lady Rose said...

Sarah,

You are right, when we begin to start believing in the lies that Satan tells us, those lies will weigh us down. These same lies can keep us from reaching upwards toward our Father in heaven.

It's just difficult, sometimes, to fully trust in God and stop believing in those "silly lies!" I think this is a challenge that all of us as Christians face each day of our lives.

Thank you again for sharing your heart. As usual, you've shared with us another beautiful testimony.

-L. Rose

Chatty Crone said...

Lies are from the devil. I remember in the Passion Play we just saw - and in The Passion Of Christ movie - the devil was pictured in both when Jesus was struggling and having some moments of weekness. But his father never left him and he has never left you. In fact because of your past - you have a new future.
LOVE!
sandie

CRY said...

AMEN!

Skip said...

Love from my heart to yours! Paula xxx

Finding Pam said...

Love heals all wounds. I am thankful you overcame your fears.
Be blessed.

Have a Happy Mother's Day.

Love to you.
Pam

Sharon said...

Love that trumps everything else!! AMEN!

This was beautifully said - and I was touched by it. And I just love how you pass His Love on to others - including your precious family.

Have a wonderful Mother's Day!

GOD BLESS!

Dulce said...

God bless you sarah dear for what you've got to find.

Crown of Beauty said...

How true it is that the lies we believe are like cement that keep us down. But God's love is unrelenting, and I am so glad that you have chosen the truth.

It really is a choice, but God helped you get to that point.

Happy Mother's Day, dear Nikki.

Your light keeps shining brighter!

Love
Lidj

Starry Dawn said...

HI SWEET SARAH,
I JUST LOVE YOUR BLOGS, AND ENJOY READING THIS POST, DEAR SARAH.
I COME THIS DAY AND VISIT YOU TO WISH YOU AND YOUR DEAR FAMILY,
(((HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!)))
I HOPE AND PRAY YOUR DAY IS FILLED WITH JOY, LOVE AND EVERLASTING BLESSINGS EMBRACED WITH ALL YOUR BELOVED ONES. YOUR AMAZING POSTS ARE TRUE INSPIRATIONS FOR MANY SOULS WORLDWIDE, SARAH.
GOD MAY BLESS YOU ALL!!
IN THE GARDEN OF GOD,
POET STARRY DAWN.

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Sarah -

Why is our instinct to hide from the very One who can deliver us? I love the scripture in John 3:16-19 that tells us He didn't come to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

Blessings,
Susan :)

Peggy said...

I could have written your post. It describes so well what my life has been like and by the grace of God and His love, it's getting better.

Patti Hanan said...

Amen, dear Sarah. His love is always what makes the difference :)

Starry Dawn said...

Hi Sarah,
Thinking of you, sweet Sarah...
I've stopped in here to say hello.
I love your inspirational blog.
God bless you, sweetheart!!
Friendship Love,
Poet Starry.

Essay Writing said...

This is awesome. And exactly what I needed to hear at this moment in my little mommy life.