Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Worst Fear


"The things which we fear the most in life have already happend to us" Robin Williams.  
 
The worse things that could happen.....already happpened. And I survived. Nothing could happen now that could be worse than what's already been. There's something freeing about that.

Corrie Ten Boon...a Dutch woman....lived a nightmare. During the 2nd World War, her family hid five Jews. Someone who attended church with them sold them out...ratted on them.....told the Nazies.  Corrie's family, including her elderly father were all thrown in a concentration camp. Corrie's sister, Betsy, died there. The Jews they hid....amazingly all escaped. Corrie was released from the camp the day before all the women her age were to be gassed.

I think about Corrie.....and what it must have felt like to be forced from the safety of her home....herded onto a train packed with more people than it could hold....taken far away from everything familiar....forced to live in deplorable conditions...and treated with terrible brutality - Yet.....

I lived my own hell.....held in a house for six to eight months.....raped and punched so hard my spleen ruptured......then living on the streets.....fighting off perverts and predators....later locked up like an animal....trapped in the system and treated like a non-person. I learned to fight...and I survived all of it. Many of my friends didn't.  

When everything is taken away....and the worst has happened....and you've been on the bottom with absolutely nothing.......and you survived....you know inside.....nothing can ever equal that horror again....nothing can be as bad.....as what you've already lived.

After her release.....Corrie tramped around the globe telling people that no darkness was so deep that God's love was not deeper still. The worst had happened....and she had survived. No more fears. She knew she had nothing to lose anymore.  I want to live the same way....not being afraid.....sharing hope...showing that the darkness really does lose it's power.....and telling people to never ever give up.....if I could survive...anyone can.

19 comments:

~dawn said...

funny, I think of Corrie from time-to-time.......

You, my dear, are FAR MORE than a "survivor" !!!
~d

Teri Lynn said...

You don't have to "want" to live your life that way. You do live your life that way, and the light you shine into this world is healing my heart more and more each day.

The Blog Writer said...

Nikki, you're my HERO, each day, every moment that I read you.

You are a living miracle that tells me for sure that I can fight, that I'd rather die fighting than tolerate injustice.

I love you with all my heart.

Sincerely,

xoxo

The Blog Writer said...

p.s. Do you know HOW many times, you're the answer I need? You are. Thank you!

Chatty Crone said...

I have read her story and yours - both of you are amazing woman of courage.

Myriam said...

Thank you for another beautiful and touching post, Nikki!

Just like the person that wrote the comment before me,Chatty Crone, I have read Corrie's story and yours and I agree that you both are amazing woman of courage.

May the Lord continue to bless your life mightly so that you may continue to bless many others in need of hope, encouragement and healing.

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

I've also read Corrie's story and heard her speak. I'm glad you've both come through the darkness and experienced freedom from fear.

CRY said...

THANK YOU for sharing so much that I did not know about. Its healing isnt it? to let it all out.
im proud of you
i need the encouragement because we are having some deep sadness in our family right now.please pray

Just_because_today said...

there is an advantage of having been to the bottom, nothing can be worst and it we survived it, we know we can survive again. But there is also that knowledge of fear we already felt. I ran away from the fear I have already lived thought. I am afraid of fear.
You are doing such a great job, you really give hope to all.

Myriam said...

Ah! I forgot to say: I like the clip art! It's very graphic! Blessings!

Diane J Standiford said...

Powerful post and so much truth. We all survive much more than we think we can. Some of us do seem to carry a special reserve of power that not all can find...but it is there.

Crown of Beauty said...

I love this post, and the story of COrrie Ten Boom... but your personal story brings the truth much closer to home. You are so right... so right. After all you have gone through, what else could be worse... it was a living hell, and you survived. So did Corrie, and many others we do not know...

There is no darkness so deep that God's love is not deeper still.

Love to you...
Lidj

Susan Marlene Kinney said...

You are a beacon of hope to those who feel trapped and down troddened. I love Corrie's spunk and insights and her sister Betsy (I think her name was)- she was truely amazing.... thanks!

Finally Free said...

Hi Sarah,
Your testimony and Corrie's is a lighthouse shining for those still in the darkness. Thanks for always encouraging all of us out here is bloggy land.

Blessings,
Tammy

Mary Ellen said...

Corrie ten Boom has been such a testimony to me- another life that is an example of how our Father is a redeeming God in all of lifes surprises if we allow Him'

Sharon said...

Oh, such a story you have! What a tremendous testimony to the saving power of our Lord - both in this life and the next. Your story closely parallels Corrie's in many ways, doesn't it? Being freed from an earthly hell - being chosen to spread the message of God's hope.

I applaud your courage - for surviving, yes - and for telling people about it. You're so right - God's love is deeper still...

GOD BLESS!

M. J. Macie said...

What an amazing testimony of hope and courage. God bless you. As for Corrie Ten Boon, I am still touched by her plight today. I hope people will continue to help people, no matter what happens to them.

Natasha said...

You are indeed a woman of inspiration and courage. How lucky we all are to know you!

Take care and best wishes always,
Natasha.

Lynda R Young said...

Both Corrie and you are inspirations.