Worst Fear

"The things which we fear the most in life have already happend to us" Robin Williams.  
 
The worse things that could happen.....already happpened. And I survived. Nothing could happen now that could be worse than what's already been. There's something freeing about that.

Corrie Ten Boon...a Dutch woman....lived a nightmare. During the 2nd World War, her family hid five Jews. Someone who attended church with them sold them out...ratted on them.....told the Nazies.  Corrie's family, including her elderly father were all thrown in a concentration camp. Corrie's sister, Betsy, died there. The Jews they hid....amazingly all escaped. Corrie was released from the camp the day before all the women her age were to be gassed.

I think about Corrie.....and what it must have felt like to be forced from the safety of her home....herded onto a train packed with more people than it could hold....taken far away from everything familiar....forced to live in deplorable conditions...and treated with terrible brutality - Yet.....

I lived my own hell.....held in a house for six to eight months.....raped and punched so hard my spleen ruptured......then living on the streets.....fighting off perverts and predators....later locked up like an animal....trapped in the system and treated like a non-person. I learned to fight...and I survived all of it. Many of my friends didn't.  

When everything is taken away....and the worst has happened....and you've been on the bottom with absolutely nothing.......and you survived....you know inside.....nothing can ever equal that horror again....nothing can be as bad.....as what you've already lived.

After her release.....Corrie tramped around the globe telling people that no darkness was so deep that God's love was not deeper still. The worst had happened....and she had survived. No more fears. She knew she had nothing to lose anymore.  I want to live the same way....not being afraid.....sharing hope...showing that the darkness really does lose it's power.....and telling people to never ever give up.....if I could survive...anyone can.