Update on blogger needing prayer

"Help your brother's boat across and your own will reach the shore" Hindu Proverb

I never thought writing this blog would really affect anyone. I wrote because I needed to write - I needed to tell without being seen - Then that blogger reached out to me, told me how dark her world is - reminded me of that hopeless and dark place that I somehow had survived from - I thought of friends who hadn't survived - friends who took their own lives, too overwhelmed with the pain. And then I asked for prayer for her and the kindness of your response showed me the power of the blog. You guys are the abolute best.

I knew you would pray. I knew you guys would come through and you did. Thank you.

Update: I asked if she would be willing for others from my blog to contact her to offer help or to possibly direct her somewhere in her area for help. She said yes. She lives in Pennsylvania. If anyone wants to contact her please contact my blog and I will give her the info.

A blogger needs Prayer

"I do believe we're all connected...I do believe in the power of prayer...I do believe in taking care of each other" Harry Fierstein

Hey guys, I need to ask you something.

Someone has been emailing me who is hurting really badly. She's nineteen and a victim of physical and sexual abuse. She believes she deserves everything that happened to her and wants to just cut and hurt herself. She made an appointment with a counselor but cancelled it. She really needs help. She's alone and scared and sees only darkness.

I asked if I can post here asking for prayer for her. She said yes. Thanks

"Faith is like radar that sees through the fog - the reality of things at a distance that the human eye cannot see." Corrie Ten Boom."

Since we moved, I've been a mess - really tired and totally frustrated. A few things went wrong and I buckled. I don't like me when I'm like this. It feels too much like the old me - wild - on edge - out of control. I hate the clutter. I hate the boxes. I need order. I need space with things put away. My head knows it will happen in time but I also can't find things. Like the card the publisher gave me at the writing conference. He told me to call him. He told me he wanted to help me. I can't find his card. I want to give up.

As I drove to work I prayed. I put the music on full blast. Music that sang of God's love and care. I started to calm down. I hadn't prayed since we moved. Too much confusion. Too much chaos.

"God, where did I put that card?" The thought jumped in my head, 'the green pencil case.' The green pencil case? Ok then, where did I put that pencil case? Silence. All day, I thought of that pencil case. All day I wondered where I had put it. Came home. Told my daughter and said it could be in one of a gazillion boxes. She opened up one and pulled out a green pencil case. "This it?" she asked. We opened it and there was the publisher's card.

The missing piece for me - Prayer. Trust. Faith that God knows. He's with me. Even in the chaos. Even in the mess.

Closing my eyes I see myself fighting to survive. Fighting to get away from people who are hurting me - climbing a six foot fence in the middle of winter, with no shoes desperate to escape - cowering under the blows of my father's hands - cringing from the stick my mother beat me with - fighting myself - throwing up, cutting and biting my arms, shooting dope - getting high to numb out - forcing myself to be strong, to not buckle - to stay alive.

I feel God's love. His care. The gentleness of His touch. Stop fighting I tell myself. You don't need to fight anymore. For today, it's ok again. For today, I can trust. And breathe. And know He is with me. I can let go and still be safe.