Friday, January 8, 2010

Facing Fear


"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." Dorothy Thompson

I talked to myself all morning....telling myself not to be afraid... not to worry what anyone thinks. This was the day I planned to go market my book. My daughter had made up some cards for me to give out...4X6's that had a picture of the book cover and my website. 

I dropped my daughter off at school....I was pumped...and ready. Let's do this. I drove to the first place really confident. I went in. The woman in charge was off sick. Got back in the car...losing courage. 

I started having all kinds of doubts...wondering what I was doing...and why. It was only a year ago...not even....that I didn't want anyone to know all those awful things that had happened. But things were changing. I was changing. It had never dawned on me how much He had done in my heart, in my life....how far down He had reached to pull me out. He had given me so much. I had given him nothing. I needed to show my gratitude....for what He did....for letting me live. 


I kept driving....out of the city....lost in my thoughts. I owe Him. I can do this....I need to...I need to tell. 

I stopped and walked into a sexual assault centre. I started to blurt out - I wrote this book...
The woman took me in a room, picked up my book, held it gently and then, we had a staff meeting this morning...talked about doing a fund raiser....finding women who wrote their story who would be willing to come in and share. Can I tell them about you? She took all my cards to pass out. 

I drove home...stunned. It worked. Courage....Faith....I had stepped out of my comfort zone...trusting I can make a difference...Something's shifted in me. I can make a difference....No more secrets!





25 comments:

Paula said...

WOW. Your courage worked a miracle. Not only did you step out and up for you but it was so very well received. WELL DONE: I am so freaking proud of you, sitting here with a big wide smile on my face. Love you.

nancygrayce said...

I would love to read your book! I, like apparently so many women my age, was molested as a child. Is the book for sale!?

nancygrayce said...

Oh, duh! I just saw it on your site. Just ignore me......I'm much older now!

Madison said...

Wow, Sarah. God opens doors, but you have to have the courage to get out of bed and walk in faith. What a great example of that.

RCUBEs said...

Courage...It's not the ability to climb the highest mountain. Not the ability to swim across the deepest oceans either...

Courage...is the ability to admit you're broken and that the only thing that healed you is the redemptive power of the cross. His works. In us. No matter what the world say. Courage is making Christ known. Of telling the world the changes He makes in our hearts. And the wholeness and restoration He brings.

Courage. You've just shown. Glory to God! You go keep encouraging people! By the grace of God!

Wylie said...

Oh, may God richly bless you precious friend. You have blessed me by sharing your heart. Lifting you up right now!
Wylie

Shattered said...

I am so proud for you! You do indeed have tremendous courage. Wow... I had no idea that you had come so far in just a year. Congrats to you. :)

Andrea said...

Praising GOD...NO MORE SECRETS! The battle belongs to HIM...it always has and HE will indeed go before you and prepare the way...just as HE did on this day.
Blessings, hugs, and prayers,
andrea

Amy Sorrells said...

Wow, just learned you listed me on your blogroll. THANK YOU. And that song--I've loved it forever. It's beautiful. And so is the heart you display here on your blog. You CAN make a difference, indeed!

Epiphany said...

Isn't it cool how He made it all happen so that you walked into THAT centre? If that other lady had been at work you may have stopped there and not gone further. But the others had prayed specifically and it was YOU who was meant to be there.

He has his hand on you - gently. xx

Zan said...

I know this doesn't count for all that much but.. I am really proud of you.

Big hugs.

Just Be Real said...

God has done wonders in you dear Sarah! You are such a blessing to many!!!

I am almost finished reading your heart wrenching story! I cannot tell you how your words have affected me thus far. Your pain and array of emotions within those pages, have affected me deeply. Your courage, strength and determination to fight is so encouraging to any reader!!! Sarah, you did the right thing in having your story told!!! Nothing and I mean Nothing to be ashamed of!!! God has truly given you the courage to heal!!!

((((Sarah))))

speck of dust said...

I'm so happy for you. You're a star!

Wonderingsoul said...

Dear Sarah,

i just wanted to tell you how much I admire your incredible bravery.

and

i wanted to thank you for always being in my 'corner'.

You are beautiful and I am so, so pleased that the lady was kind and gentle.
You are doing amazing things.

x

Deborah said...

Hi Sarah, That was awesome! I am so glad you worked up enough courage. A lot of people would not do that! I am very proud of you :)
This is the first of many amazing things that you will do!
Deborah
PS Did you tell us the name of the book, I would love to read it!

Just_because_today said...

You are making a difference, you are.

I am going to get your book. It sounds amazing, this whole thing, this survival, this strength, this faith,

Amazing

Colleen said...

I am proud of you. Take one day at a time. One place at a time. Way to go! Hugs and blessings!

Lisa Marie said...

Alright Sarah! In the face of the fear, you saw in yourself what God sees in you every day. You are strong enough to do this! You have no more secrets! You WILL make a difference.

Gaia said...

Isn't it wonderful, God planted helpful people to help you get around the important events in your life. And in turn your words will inspire and help many who are hurting. Bless you.

Nicole said...

Oh Honey, congratulations! I am so happy and proud of you. You did it!!!!

Diva Kreszl said...

God walks beside you dear one, when the Holy Spirit whispers to you do not be afraid for God has great plans to enlarge your territory! One of my favorite bible passages and books is the 'Prayer of Jabez'. This book gave me great courage to follow God's plans for me and forced me to grow outside my comfort zone, I have done things in His name I never thought I was capable of!

Karen said...

Praise the Lord! Follow Him, and don't look back...His plan is unfolding....

Finally Free said...

Sarah,
Somehow I missed this post to read. I am so happy for you.....

This is an amazing story of how we step out and God prepares the way. So many times I have been so afraid and God meets me right there.

I am praising God for your faith and courage. I just know you are going to help so many hurting women.

By the way, I gave the book to my pastor and He said He would read it. Let you know if I get any feedback.

Blessings,
Tammy

Lloyd said...

Sarah: I am so proud of you. You have taken the first step to recovery from something that you had no control over. When God wants us to do His Will, He always gives us the tools and everything we need to accomplish His tasks.

That means that He also places other people in your life to help you accomplish the tasks He has assigned to you. I believe it is God's Will that your story be shared with others who are hurting from sexual assualts. May God continue to work through you in your ministry. God bless, Lloyd

Peter Stone said...

Good on you! You encountered a mountain in your path, but you kept on going and climbed it with Christ.
I too find it hard to share my story, it is like baring the secrets of my soul to an uncaring world.
But then I think of Jesus, going to His hometown, knowing He would be rejected, that they would try to throw Him (their Creator!) off the cliff.
But He went anyway. Jesus always said what needed to be said, regardless of whether people wanted to hear it or not.
Just like you are doing.
God bless.