Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Yogurt Tubes, Ravioli & Confidence

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside." Mark Twain

My nine year old is not crazy about yogurt. I tried the cups, tubes and drinks....The only time she eats them is if there's little else in her lunch bag.  The other morning I sent her to school with a sandwich, a yogurt tube, some cookies, fruit and a drink. As soon as she walked in the door she blurted out, Mom, I'm starving
I guess you ate your yogurt? I said.

Uh uh.  
Uh uh. I put it back in the fridge.  
You starving? She nodded.. Then go have the yogurt
Uh uh. 
My older daughter came down the stairs and hearing the conversaton said...Bet you ate the cookies. 
Uh huh. smiled my youngest.
Go eat the yogurt. I said.  
Nope. I want ravioli
But it's only 4:00 p.m. Go eat the yogurt.  
Nope. I won't.  
Then I'm calling Nanny 911
Grinning at me with her chubby little face all lit up, she answered...She won't just come because I won't eat yogurt. 
I cracked up. Eat the yogurt. 
Eat the yogurt
Who'se stronger me or you? 
By now she was laughing so hard. Me.

You bet I told her. Go have Ravioli. 

How does she do it? How does this little person have the confidence to stand up for what she wants. I love that. I love that she's not afraid to hold onto what she wants....and go for it and not back down.

Watching her....listening to her....makes me feel good - because in her...and in my older daughter...I know the cycle of abuse has been broken.  They're not growing up afraid to say what they own what they want. They trust life....they trust me....and mostly they trust themselves. 

They're my best living free should be....My nine yr. old knows what she likes and doesn't like. I on the other hand, still struggle knowing what I want, what I like, what I don't like....And I do things because I think I should, not always because I want. 

I used to work with this older man; a recovering alcoholic - he told me all the time....inch by inch it's a cinch..yard by yard it's hard. I still hear his voice...those words in my head.....simple words...yet powerful. 

I'm watching my girls....listening to them...learning how to live free.


Terri Tiffany said...

Sometimes we learn the most from our children.All I can say is you've done a great job!!

RCUBEs said...

We, as parents, want to teach our children. But most of the time, we end up learning more from them. I love to hear their honest answers even if it hurts [because that's the truth]...And I love to hear their assertiveness. Like what your daughter did.

I enjoyed that little interaction of yours but I enjoyed your thoughts about it the more. Blessings.

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful story! I loved it!
Learning how to live free. It should be easy, but we all need to be taught this lesson. Thanks for sharing.

Kay said...

children are very good at that, aren't they? helping us put things into perspective...not eating yogurt isn't so bad after all, huh? :)

Paula said...

Have no kids but can relate so very much. Therapist asked me to watch kids whereever I get a change. Now I am hanging around playgrounds... Love to you

Deborah said...

That is so wonderful that your daughter has her own mind. My 18yo daughter has her own mind also(always has) and I often say I wish I was more like her. Not afraid to speak what I feel. That is a wonderful quality to have.
She must be so cute!
PS I didn't eat yogurt until I was in my 40's...and I still don't love it!

Andrea said...

Praising GOD that the cycle is broken!
Hugs and prayers,

Denise said...

You are a blessing of a mom, love you.

Anonymous said...

Oh I am so glad to be reading your blog again my sweet friend. You are truly an inspiration and a blessing to me. I have thought of you so very often. How is your book doing? I have missed you and I love you so much. God bless you Nikki.

Zan said...

I often think adults have a lot to learn from children! If we could be more like them, it would be so much easier.
I sat down one day and watched 'Bear in the big Blue House' with one of the kids I look after, and the Bear was trying to teach his little mates Respect. And I thought 'every adult should watch this show'. It wasd so simple and there was so much love.
Kids are the best, they really are.
And you're a great Mom!!


Epiphany said...

Such a cute and cheeky conversation!

Rhonda said...

Being a preschool teacher myself, I can honestly say that I learn more from my little 2 and 3 year olds than anyone. And they do it so innocently and tactfully. I really enjoyed reading this today. It made me smile.

Journal of Healing said...

Oh, Sarah. This is wonderful. This makes my heart very happy to read. Very, very happy. I hope to have such luck one day.


Lily said...

Your girls sound so wonderful! I couldn't have said it better myself: The cycle of abuse is broken.

Nicole said...

Life lessons are so simple when we learn them from a child.

Anonymous said...

thank you for your friendship, it means a lot to me right not, i don't have a lot of support,

Denise said...

Thanks for the card I received in my mailbox today. Your precious gift to us was very much appreciated. May you be blessed as you have blessed us. I love you so much my friend.

Mary Moss said...

Your girls are a gift from God - and you to them! They have learned to be strong from their mother.

I rejoice that you are learning to live free - inch by inch each day.


Mary said...

I'm so glad you have them.
I'm so glad they have you.

Blessings dear one!!

Deborah Ann said...

I love the independence your sweet little girl has! She knows what she likes, and that's all there is to it. Sounds just like my grandaughter. I find it amazing to see such strength and character in a little girl. Qualities that I did not have at such a tender age.

You're a great mom, Sarah! I know God is smiling down on you and your precious household.

Being Me said...

..Wonderful moments that make being a mom worth it..


Colleen said...

Great post. Love the quote. Need to remember that.

Just Be Real said...

Dearest Sarah, I am blessed by your words here. Thank you.

Marj aka Thriver said...

That's so wonderful to see that cycle of abuse broken, isn't it? Yay, for you, Sarah! :)

I'm getting around to say "Happy New Year" late as I am so much better now (just a little cold in my nose left).

Wonderingsoul said...

What you say here is so simple and yet so, so profound.

I hear you Sarah, and I understand what you are saying.
I hear your pride at your beautiful girls and the way in which you have provided them with a place to grow and dare. To risk and to try.
You are incredible and I hope that you have some sense of how much you inspire others here.

Inch by inch... You have no idea how much I needed to hear that little saying. I'm hoping that now it will stick in my head too.


Anonymous said...

thank you

Elizabeth Bradley said...

I love yogurt, I start everyday with it, but when I was kid it tasted sour and yucky. Maybe her taste buds can't hack the sourness.

Faith Imagined said...

What a beautiful post! Your baby girl is darling!

I will definitely be using that "inch by inch" quote!

-Alisa Hope
First Friday Fiction

Finding Pam said...

You have learned what you do not want for your children and have broken the cycle. That is the greatest gift you can give them.

As for you, I have no doubt that you will continue your journey and will get there too.

Heckety said...

Absolutely with you! We learn so much from our children if we let them be themselves withing a secure framework. You didn't get the gift of that, but you sure have given it to your girls, and for that they will rise up and count you blessed. It is proof that you are living with God each step when you see the 'cycle of abuse' as you call it broken.

You are amazing, and its an honour to read you!

In the words of my youngest- you rock girl!