Because of indifference, one dies before one actually dies. E li Wiesel
Most of the time I wake up feeling on top of the world...like I can fly and nothing can get me down....and then....Whomp! Out of the blue this dark feeling hits...and my heart hurts. This morning I thought about triggers....the things that push me back into painful memories....something that flicks a switch taking me to that place I just don't want to think about anymore.
.....like watching the news. I rarely watch TV or read the paper. But this week someone told me to watch a video of a 19 yr. old who hung herself while guards who were supposed to protect her....watched. They laughed, taunted her and did nothing. At 15 Ashley Smith was put in youth detention for acting out.....cutting herself...talking back - minor things. And when she threw crabapples at a cop, they arrested her and put her in jail. What happened next is unthinkable. They tasered her, put her in body restraints, treated her like an animal....worse than a criminal. They goaded her....mocked her ....laughed at her. Now there's an inquest...now someone is paying attention b/c a lawsuit's been filed.
What's even crazier....violent criminals...people who commit horrible crimes..walk free. This makes me crazy...it cuts to a place inside me that makes me feel like giving up. It makes me think what's the use of trying to fight for what's right when the systems in place are so powerful..
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross discovered something when she interned on a locked psych ward in New York. If you treat even the most severely disturbed patients with compassion and kindness, they'll respond postively. Why doesn't everyone get this? Why do people in positions of power often use that power to wield control over the vulnerable?
Why did no one help Ashley? So many saw the harm being done to her...yet did nothing. I never want to be indifferent. I never want to be aware of someone being treated unjustly.....and turn away. Some days....I just want to close my eyes....and not think anymore about all the violence and evil that happens.
I'm sorry guys...I just needed to vent....to say this...b/c Ashley was troubled and people in authority chose to treat her in ways that forced her to end her life. That hurts b/c it could have been me...or anyone who acts out their hurt.
I used to see the world as violent...but when He touched me with this amazing love....that changed. Love made the difference in my world. Love and compassion and kindness.