Thursday, September 16, 2010

Writing to Connect

"Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write."  Elie Wiesel

 

Yesterday at work...I sat in a meeting...feeling uncomfortable....knowing I had to talk....in front of all those people.  I felt that old familar sick feeling in the pit of my stomach....and a far away feeling....fighting hard to stay present. All I wanted was to run....leave.....hide....   


I think it's because I'm writing another story......based on things that really happened. Things that made me afraid. Things that hurt. Things I've wanted to forget. But can't. And I've been talking to others.....who tell me simialiar stories.....women who have never forgotten the brutality of the mental health system that was supposed to help them....a system that stripped them of their dignity and made them live in fear.


A part of me needs to write....to tell.....to have my voice and to give a voice to others who want their stories told but don't know how to do it.  

 

I want to be heard. I want to be known.... the real me...not just what people see....the strong, friendly, outgoing social me....but that part that so often needs to hide....and that's afraid....

 

When I'm alone....lost in my writing....I feel free....and connected. I can let my heart speak of things I've never been able to say.....things that still play in my head.....that remind me of when I lived with no hope. I know those things made me strong....made me a fighter.....gave me a determination to push back and never give up.


Writing gives me a release....a sense of purpose. Connecting with others who share similiar stories...I want to write the truth.....for them....for me.....I want to be a voice....

27 comments:

Denise said...

Let your voice be heard sweetie, your words are such a healing balm for many.

Paula said...

considering the health system here I cannot even imagien what some / many of may have encountered, suffered. I am truly sorry and ocne again so very grateful for what I received. You are doing a wonderful work in freing yourself and many others. Paula xxx

katie said...

thank you for this post. thank you for sharing the things you need to say. for writing and not hiding. it helped me today to read your words.

wishing you peace~~

Carolyn said...

Hi Sarah!

I havn't been in blogland much this summer...but now that I am back, I am enjoying your posts. You are a fighter and a WINNER! God bless you, my dear!

Love & Hugs to you!
Carolyn ~ Cottage Sunshine

NOS said...

You are so strong, Sarah. This really comes across in your writing. It's great that you're writing another story. You're giving yourself that voice.

Wishing you well,
NOS

MTJ said...

Hi Sarah,

Continue to allow your voice to speak on behalf of many who have no voice or audience to listen; they are the silent voices that speak to you.

As a man, I will never know the depth of brutality, cruelty and insensitivity you speak and write about, but I can support and encourage you to stand and speak.

I appreciate you Sarah.

Blessings and peace.

MTJ

Dulce said...

A voice... that's all we need to tell and be heard, rather, listened to... Write write write dear Sarah

Crown of Beauty said...

It never ceases to amaze me what God can do through someone who decides to obey His voice, and His call. You are such one, and dear Nikki, I do pray that you will be a voice to contend with in the wilderness that we find ourselves in.

Yes writing helps bring a release. It is a written way of speaking, of voicing, something that needs to be said.

When you write the truth from a pure heart, and with pure motives, God is honored and the enemy is crushed.

Love
Lidj

RCUBEs said...

I'm glad you are remaining strong, brave, and a committed vessel to the One Who empowers those who love Him! Blessings and love to you sister!

Christ is Write. said...

This is very much why I love writing. It's a release of emotions I've held back for years.

I'm more quiet, but through writing I can express myself and use situations that I have gone through also to be on paper (since I wouldn't have the nerve to talk about them in person). The readers may have the same kind of feelings/emotions/thoughts/been through the same kind of stuff the character has gone through. This way she can connect with the story on a personal level, and know that she's not alone in these weird emotions. So it works as a release for both the author and reader. That's the amazing thing about writing. =)

God bless


Tessa

A girl needs 2 Talk said...

I am soooooo happy that you're writing another book! Write. Write all you want. Feel better. I'm praying for you.

Karen said...

Praise the Lord for your sweet voice...it helps those who are silent to cry out....

JBR said...

Your voice has become stronger with each accomplishment dear one. Sweet. Blessings and hugs to you.

Dolores Ayotte said...

Nikki...yes be a voice, a woman's voice for other voices to be heard. :)

Finally Free said...

Sarah,
Thank you for your encouragement and prayers for me right now. It means alot. :)

Thanks for being "you".

Blessings,
Tammy

Catherine said...

I love your writing Sarah. Your post reminded me of a quote also by Elie Wiesel:

"A survivor's testimony is more important than anything that can be written about survivors. It's important for them, important for the world. And for me, that is the most rewarding thing-to free, to open up the survivors. They live clandestinely. What made their being most unique was something they hid. That is most tragic-to suffer and then to suffer for having suffered."

Love, C

Yolanda said...

Sarah,
I am so glad you are writing. I don't get to get online as much anymore - but I look forward to being able to read your thoughts. Keep writing - keep gettimg the word out -- keep sharing, God is using your words as a balm to those who have been deeply hurt, even in ways dissimilar to how you have been hurt. In so many ways, pain is relatable and when Comfort comes for one, it is nice to remember that Comfort is not a respecter of persons, but can come to others, too.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Cor 1:3-4

Colleen said...

Writing is healing. For those who write and for those who read what we write. Great post!

Dena E's Blog said...

Wow Sarah what a story you share with us and what n Awesome Inpsitation you are to soooo many of us.. You always,,ALWAYS were a Blessing from God Almighty and You Always WILL be!!! Do NOT let the enemy trick or decieve you.. Its tough at times but Jesus is always with you Sweetie,,just keep hold of His garment,, His Hand..
He is the Mind Clearer,, Soul Soother,, and Strength Giver,, just to mention a few..
You bless the lives of so many of us...I'm honored you came by my post ..

May all good things of God happen for you in your new week!!!
Hugs&Love~~~ Dena

Amanda said...

Lift up your voice as a trumpet, my sweet Sarah... you are a blessing to many, I am sure. You have a beautiful message, written before time began.

Just_because_today said...

you are being heard, keep writing

Gaia said...

Hi Sarah, I'm back. Could not keep away, missed you guys so much. Hope you are well. Bless you

Paula said...

How are you doing? Miss you around.

Adelle said...

You can't put a stopper in the words - they will come despite oursleves! It's best just to let them run, isn't it?

Wanted to stop by and say thank you for the follow. I return the favor!

Blessings...

Deborah Ann said...

Oh, I hear ya. Writing is a ministry in and of itself (but not apart from God, rather only because of Him).

A second book? How very exciting! I've been wanting to order your book, but I'm having problems with my Paypal. Had to start a new bank account, and hopefully by next week I'll be good to go.

God's riches blessings on you and your sweet family!

Jean said...

Yep, that's why we write and continue to write.

Jamie Valendy said...

Thank you for your comment on my blog.

I've been moved by reading through your past blog posts. Though our stories are very different, we both have faith in the Lord and write for similar reasons... a release, sense of purpose, to be heard, to be a voice, etc...

You seem like such an amazing person. Thank you for sharing your story. I think your voice is being heard. Blessings.