Thursday, October 21, 2010

Know Hope


"When you say a person or situation is hopeless, you are slamming the door in the face of God." Charles L. Allen 

Living with no hope is the worse thing ever. It's a pain that never goes away. 

For so long....I had no hope of things ever changing.... of ever getting better. Hopelessness - a constant gnawing inside that hurt so bad....nagging and tugging....a painful torment....forcing me to focus on one thing.....getting free...even if it meant ending my life. And I tried. Many times.....overdosing, cutting my wrists....even jumping in front of a car. 

Hopelessness ....it colored my world....dark...black....empty.  I spent a long time in that darkness....seeing no way out....days...nights....weeks... months.... years.

Professionals believed they had the answers....they knew what I needed. If I'd just listen to them....take their advice....I'd be okay...they promised. But being okay wasn't something I believed could ever happen. I knew it was useless to even try....

Hopelessness....It made my heart sick. 
Hopelessness....An emptiness that never went away....
Hopelessness....A ravanous hunger that kept growing deeper and screamed louder wanting to be be filled.
Hopelessness....A painful aching...a desperation that never quieted. 

It hurt so bad....it cut worse than anything I ever experienced. And then one day....

Hope - without it.....there's no life
Hope - it's a thread to hang onto when there's nothing else.
Hope - it's what made the difference for me. His gentle touch.....calmed the craving....gave me the thread of hope...I have no idea how He did it...but things changed.....

Not everything....I still had to fight.....and fight hard to break free.....but I had Hope and Hope made the difference. It helped me hold on....It helped me believe.....It helped me know..... somehow things would be okay. 

Someone who read my story wrote me....told me my book came to her as a message of hope. After reading her words....I went running in the woods...wanting to hear His gentle whisper in the wind.....grateful that He didn't let me die..grateful I can now give someone else the gift of Hope.......

Lisa: I got your book yesterday afternoon...I read late into the night and this afternoon....yours is such a beautifully written book, one that resonates with me on so many levels. I loved the descriptions, felt like I was right beside you, experiencing every situation with you. At times it was hard to breathe. Other times, I was moved to tears. Many times I was frightened for your safety, touched by your endless bravery. And then I was inspired.....

I found the detail of the coaching advice affirming the very processes I am currently working on in order to change my own negative belief systems. I don't believe in co-incidence, your book came to me as a message of hope. 

28 comments:

MTJ said...

Hi Sarah,

You befriend those who need friendship. You share the message of hope to those in a darkened room. You tell about God's miraculous love and redemption; the power of His grace and truth.

I lift you up before the Lord, thanking Him that through you, His words of liberation set the captives free, and they hear the message of hope. You are a blessing.

Blessings and peace.

MTJ

Maria said...

thank you for this post. It brought some comfort to my confusion.

Finding Pam said...

I am so glad that He gave you hope. There is nothing worse than feeling hopelessness. I am so touched by your post today.

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.

Peace and blessings to you.
Pam

Merana Leigh said...

I know that hopelessness that abuse brings, my friend. And the truth? The only thing that kept me from trying to end what I thought was a hopeless life that seemed to have no end in sight was the absolute fear that I wouldn't succeed & I'd be left with him having to "care" for me, and what I'd have to endure through that. I KNOW where you were. But I KNOW where HE's brought you (& many of us who've suffered this). You not only offer hope, my dear friend. But I consider your words a blessing unto my life....God-breathed. Thank you, dear precious one of His! Hugs & much love ~ Merana

NOS said...

This is a very profound post. I agree with you-- hope really does make the difference. Without it, it's so hard to keep trudging on.

That was a beautiful letter Lisa wrote you. And although I have not read your book, I know that your writing on this blog has been a message of hope. You're right-- you've overcome so much. That's really inspirational.

Wishing you well,
NOS

Catherine said...

Thanks for sharing this post Sarah. I really needed to hear about hope today as it has been a tough week.

Love, Catherine

Just_because_today said...

just knowing that, that you helped even if one person, makes it so worth it.
God bless.

Sometimes I also look for that hope, sometimes I pray it comes

Just Be Real said...

Dear Sarah, thank you so much for posting this. Touched me. Blessings.

Patrina's Pencil said...

I just love the heart that God has given you. It's so big - so wide - so deep. Your healing - your testimony - gives HOPE to the masses that are beyond your circle of influence. God knew how far your heart would reach.

blessings and favor for a hopeful new day.

patrina <")>><
warrior bride in boots

A girl needs 2 Talk said...

I had goose-flesh when I read that message. Sarah, can I give you a tight hug?? You are an inspiration! I love you!

Chatty Crone said...

I ordered your book and can't wait to read it. Sorry you had to go through all of that - you are helping so many people. What a master plan.

sandie

Crown of Beauty said...

Dear friend, this is exactly the reason why I believe God prompted me to dedicate my recent post entitled "Shalom!" at

http://mla-crownofglory.blogspot.com/2010/10/shalom.html

to you. Your life is an embodiment of hope. If you have a bit of time, I invite you to read it and share with me what resonates in your heart.

The world is dying from lack of hope, and you have said it so beautifully here.

Much love,
Lidj

Sharon Kirby said...

Sarah, you are an inspiration and comfort to so many people. And you point us toward the Savior - the Author of Hope, the Lover of Lost Souls. Thank you for these words - your heart spoke to mine tonight.

GOD BLESS!

Finally Free said...

Sarah,
What a beautiful letter you received. Thanks for sharing.

Sending you a hug ((Sarah))

Blessings,
Tammy

Wonderingsoul said...

Dear Sarah,

It desn't surprise me that you got that beautiful letter. Your writing IS beautiful and it does bring such hope to others. It'sa gift that you use so wonderfully and I know that you were given hope in order that you may share it with so many.

Your descriptons o hopelessness ring so true in my head. It's how I feel much of the time.
I don' know how you found the hope bt I need it too. I feel so hopeless that I don't even truely believe that I will feel hope ever again.
Crazy huh?

Thinking of you and knowing what an incredible inspiration you are to so many people, myself included.

Lots of love

WS

Colleen said...

We all need hope. Sometimes it is all we have. Sometime we have to cling to someone else's hope. You gave the letter writer hope. Hugs.

Gaia said...

Doing my bit for the church, and working with people who seem to lost all hope, I pray I have some good sense to be able to give them some hope. That's all I can do. Blessings

Denise said...

You bless my heart sis, love you.

Deborah Ann said...

Just ordered your book. I can't wait to read it. I know it will be a hard thing to look into from my window, but I know God's redemption will be right alongside...

Julie Musil said...

Lisa's comment to you gave me chills. How amazing to have had such an impact on someone else's life. That's a beautiful thing.

I love the quote at the beginning of this post. I never thought of it that way before, but it's true.

Being Me said...

You are right, hope keeps the tiny positive lights going no matter what the circumstance or how dark it feels.

Sares said...

Hello Sarah! I wasn't sure shich blog to leave a comment on, so I chose your Writing Blog. What an intense topic, hope. The true gift it the ability to share it. It seems you have done so through your words, inspired hope. Congratulations on your book Sarah and my wish for you is that you continue to have hope for yourself!
Thank you for stopping by and have a beautiful Sunday.

Sheila Deeth said...

How wonderful to have your words be the gift of hope to someone else!

mya said...

Hope is such a small word, and yet it is at the very foundation of our lives, dreams oyr aspirations.

Paula said...

I couldnt agree more. Sarah, you have come such a long way and you inspire to many. Love ya

valerie said...

Hello sweet Sarah. I am so thankful you are still writing your powerful testimony. I know it has been a while since I visited your blog, but I want you to know that I have never, ever stopped thinking or praying about you. You are one of the most inspirational women I have ever met. You are strong and courageous and I am still so very proud of you. Stay strong in your faith Sarah. You are making it through little by little. Love you!

Oh, I started a new blog as my other blog was hacked and had to be deleted. I hope you will follow me. It is called Simply 4 Gods Glory. I also have a new email address as that was hacked as well. Just follow the link on my new site to email me. I love you!

elizabeth said...

Beautiful and so true...hope deferred makes the heart sick, but He comes and gives us hope overflowing!
Thank you so much for your kind remarks over at my place.
Elizabeth
http://www.justfollowingjesus.com

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Sarah -

Hope is as essential to life as breathing. I'm so glad you met the One who gives hope and sets the captive free.

Keep pressing on in His strength.

Blessings,
Susan :)