Know Hope

"When you say a person or situation is hopeless, you are slamming the door in the face of God." Charles L. Allen 

Living with no hope is the worse thing ever. It's a pain that never goes away. 

For so long....I had no hope of things ever changing.... of ever getting better. Hopelessness - a constant gnawing inside that hurt so bad....nagging and tugging....a painful torment....forcing me to focus on one thing.....getting free...even if it meant ending my life. And I tried. Many times.....overdosing, cutting my wrists....even jumping in front of a car. 

Hopelessness ....it colored my world....dark...black....empty.  I spent a long time in that darkness....seeing no way out....days...nights....weeks... months.... years.

Professionals believed they had the answers....they knew what I needed. If I'd just listen to them....take their advice....I'd be okay...they promised. But being okay wasn't something I believed could ever happen. I knew it was useless to even try....

Hopelessness....It made my heart sick. 
Hopelessness....An emptiness that never went away....
Hopelessness....A ravanous hunger that kept growing deeper and screamed louder wanting to be be filled.
Hopelessness....A painful aching...a desperation that never quieted. 

It hurt so bad....it cut worse than anything I ever experienced. And then one day....

Hope - without it.....there's no life
Hope - it's a thread to hang onto when there's nothing else.
Hope - it's what made the difference for me. His gentle touch.....calmed the craving....gave me the thread of hope...I have no idea how He did it...but things changed.....

Not everything....I still had to fight.....and fight hard to break free.....but I had Hope and Hope made the difference. It helped me hold on....It helped me believe.....It helped me know..... somehow things would be okay. 

Someone who read my story wrote me....told me my book came to her as a message of hope. After reading her words....I went running in the woods...wanting to hear His gentle whisper in the wind.....grateful that He didn't let me die..grateful I can now give someone else the gift of Hope.......

Lisa: I got your book yesterday afternoon...I read late into the night and this afternoon....yours is such a beautifully written book, one that resonates with me on so many levels. I loved the descriptions, felt like I was right beside you, experiencing every situation with you. At times it was hard to breathe. Other times, I was moved to tears. Many times I was frightened for your safety, touched by your endless bravery. And then I was inspired.....

I found the detail of the coaching advice affirming the very processes I am currently working on in order to change my own negative belief systems. I don't believe in co-incidence, your book came to me as a message of hope.